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Thomas, the name that's so forgettable, even Siri can't get it right. You ask Siri to call Thomas, and she's like, "Did you mean Tim, Terry, or Tammy?" No, Siri, I meant Thomas. But good effort.
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You know your name is too common when you Google it, and it asks, "Did you mean Thomas-457?" No, Google, I meant the regular Thomas, the one who blends into the background of life like a chameleon in a sea of generic names.
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I met a guy named Thomas the other day. Nice guy, but he introduced himself like, "Hi, I'm Thomas with an 'H'." Really, Thomas? You think there's a secret society of Thomases plotting to take over the world, and the 'H' is your ticket in?
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You ever notice how people use the name Thomas when they can't remember someone's actual name? Like, "Hey, you remember... um, Thomas, right?" And you're just standing there thinking, "No, I don't remember Thomas. I don't even know a Thomas!
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I knew a Thomas who was always fashionably late. When you asked him why, he'd say, "Well, Thomas has to make an entrance." Dude, you're not entering a red carpet event; you're just grabbing a burger with the guys.
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Thomas, the name that parents give you when they want you to have a generic resume. I can imagine a job interview going like, "So, Thomas, tell us about yourself," and Thomas replies, "Well, I'm proficient in Microsoft Excel, enjoy long walks on the beach, and my name is Thomas. Oh, you knew that already? Cool.
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Thomas is the name that's never the answer on a game show. You never hear, "And the correct response is... Thomas!" No, it's always something like Alex or Emily. Poor Thomases, they're like the unsung heroes of the name game.
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You ever notice how everyone knows a guy named Thomas? I mean, it's like there's a Thomas on every street, in every workplace, and probably even in your grandma's knitting club. It's like they handed out "Thomas" at birth along with the birth certificate and a manual on how to be mildly forgettable.
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You ever notice how people always have a friend named Thomas, but they never invite him to anything? It's like Thomas is the perpetual backup friend. "We need one more person for poker night. Should we call Thomas?" "Nah, let's not ruin the vibe.
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