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You ever notice how mysterious "someone& 39" is? I mean, someone always seems to be involved in everything, but who the heck is this someone? They're like the Batman of everyday situations, always lurking in the shadows. I was at a party the other day, and someone spilled a drink. Nobody knew who did it, but you can bet someone was responsible. It's like a secret society, the Someone Society. I imagine them having secret meetings, plotting to mess with our lives just enough to keep us on our toes.
And what about those mysterious noises in the middle of the night? You hear a creak or a thud, and you're convinced someone's breaking in. But no, it's just someone& 39, playing their nightly game of "Let's Freak Them Out."
I tried asking Siri about someone& 39, but even she doesn't know. It's like the Bermuda Triangle of identity. I bet if you Google "someone& 39," you'd just get a list of conspiracy theories.
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I've been on a quest to find out more about someone& 39. I even hired a detective. You know, the kind you see in movies, wearing a fedora and lurking in dark alleys. I told him, "Find out who someone is, and I'll pay you handsomely." The detective calls me a week later, and he's like, "I've got leads." I'm thinking, "Finally, we're cracking this case." But then he says, "Someone& 39 left no traces. It's like they're a ninja of everyday life."
I was so frustrated. It's like trying to catch a cloud with your bare hands. Someone& 39 is the Houdini of identity – always disappearing when you think you're close.
I started suspecting my friends. Maybe one of them is someone& 39 in disguise. I tried interrogating them, but they just looked at me like I'd lost my mind. Maybe they're in on it too. Maybe we're all someone& 39 and don't even know it.
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Dating is tough enough without someone& 39 throwing a curveball into the mix. I went on a blind date recently – you know, set up by a friend who claimed they knew the perfect someone for me. But when I got to the restaurant, there was no someone. Just an empty chair. I called my friend, and they were like, "Oh, someone& 39 had to cancel last minute." Really? Someone& 39 stood me up? How does that even happen?
I felt like I was in a bad romantic comedy where someone& 39 is the quirky character who messes with people's love lives just for kicks. I can see the movie poster now: "Someone& 39: Love's Mysterious Prankster."
Anyway, I'm still on the lookout for someone& 39. If you see them, tell them I'm looking for them – but not in a creepy way, just in a "let's grab coffee and solve the mystery of your existence" way.
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So, I thought, "Maybe someone& 39 has a social media account." I mean, who doesn't these days? I searched everywhere – Facebook, Twitter, Instagram. Nothing! It's like someone& 39 is the ultimate ghost on the internet. I even tried LinkedIn, thinking someone& 39 must have a professional side. But no, not even a LinkedIn page. I guess someone& 39 is just too cool for social media. They're probably sitting back, watching all of us overshare and thinking, "I'll pass."
I bet if someone& 39 did have a social media presence, their bio would just be a shrugging emoji and a link to the Wikipedia page on anonymity.
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