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Why did the rocket man bring a suitcase to the rocket launch? He wanted to pack light!
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Why did the rocket man break up with his girlfriend? Because he needed space!
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I told the rocket man he's not funny. He said, 'Well, humor is relative – especially in space!
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Rocket man, huh? I tried being a rocket man once, but my idea of reaching for the stars was just grabbing a bag of cheese puffs from the top shelf at the grocery store.
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Rocket man's got that sleek astronaut suit, and I'm here wearing sweatpants to a Zoom meeting, hoping my colleagues don't notice. I call it the 'business casual from the waist up' fashion trend.
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Rocket man is breaking through the atmosphere, and I'm just trying to break through the plastic wrap on my microwave dinner without losing a finger. It's a high-stakes mission in my kitchen.
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Rocket man is probably thinking about the mysteries of the universe, and I'm over here contemplating the mystery of why socks disappear in the laundry. It's like a sock Bermuda Triangle in my dryer.
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You ever notice how they call him 'Rocket Man' and not 'Astronaut Andy' or 'Cosmic Chris'? I mean, he's setting unrealistic expectations for the rest of us. I can barely make it through a PowerPoint presentation without crashing and burning.
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Rocket man gets all the glory, but what about us regular folks? I tried launching a model rocket once, and it got stuck in a tree. Now I'm just known as 'Tree Hugger Tim,' the failed rocket scientist.
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Rocket man has mission control guiding him through space. Meanwhile, I can't even get my GPS to pronounce street names correctly. 'Turn left on Oak Street' sounds like 'Turn left on Oklahomajkdsgfd.'
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Rocket man must have an amazing playlist for his space trips. I imagine it's just 'Space Oddity' on repeat. Meanwhile, my road trip playlist consists of 'Are We There Yet?' by the kids in the backseat.
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Rocket man is orbiting the Earth, and I'm just trying not to trip over my own feet on the sidewalk. We're both defying gravity in our own clumsy ways.
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