4 Jokes For Psychedelic

Standup-Comedy Bits

Updated on: Aug 06 2024

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Let's talk about music on psychedelics, shall we? It's like your ears are taking a journey through the cosmos, and every note is a shooting star. I tried making a psychedelic playlist once, but it ended up being a rollercoaster of emotions.
You start with some chill tunes, thinking you're on a smooth ride, and then suddenly, the music takes a sharp turn, and you're in the middle of a heavy metal mosh pit with your thoughts headbanging along.
And can we talk about lyrics? I was listening to a song, and I became convinced that the singer was narrating my life. "I took the trash out today," they sang, and I was like, "How did they know? Are they watching me?"
But the real challenge is choosing the right music for the comedown. You can't just transition from Pink Floyd to the Wiggles. It's like going from an intergalactic space odyssey to a toddler's birthday party. The contrast is too much for the fragile post-trip mind.
So, here's a tip: curate your psychedelic playlist wisely, my friends. Your sanity depends on it.
Who here has attempted to cook while on psychedelics? Oh, just me? Well, let me tell you, it's a culinary adventure like no other.
I decided to make a sandwich, and as I'm spreading the mayo, I start contemplating the nature of condiments. I'm like, "Mayonnaise is just a creamy metaphor for the complexities of existence."
And then there's the issue of chopping vegetables. I felt like a samurai slicing through the fabric of reality with each carrot. I even gave my bell peppers individual names, like they were characters in a psychedelic soap opera.
But the pièce de résistance was when I tried to make a smoothie. I threw in every fruit I could find, thinking I was creating a masterpiece. Spoiler alert: it tasted like regret and confusion. I took a sip and was like, "Is this what the universe tastes like? Because I'm not a fan."
So, if you ever find yourself in the kitchen on psychedelics, just order a pizza. Trust me, the delivery guy becomes a wizard bringing you a portal to flavor town.
Hey, everybody! So, I recently decided to embark on a psychedelic adventure. You know, the kind where colors start talking to you and you become best friends with a lamp. Now, I thought I was prepared, but let me tell you, no one is ever truly prepared for what happens in the psychedelic realm.
I'm walking around, and suddenly, I start questioning the very fabric of reality. I mean, who came up with the idea of time, and why does it feel like it's doing the Macarena right now? I tried explaining this to my friend who was sober, and he just stared at me like I was a malfunctioning robot.
But here's the thing, folks - psychedelic trips teach you important life lessons. Like, did you know that in the grand scheme of the universe, our problems are as significant as a mosquito's opinion on politics? Yeah, mind-blowing.
And don't even get me started on the moment I looked in the mirror. I swear, I saw my reflection giving me a pep talk, like, "You got this, man! Life is just a cosmic giggle, and you're the punchline."
So, the moral of the story is, if life hands you lemons, turn them into a psychedelic lemonade and enjoy the trip!
Have you ever noticed how when you're on psychedelics, animals become the wisest creatures on the planet? I once had a deep conversation with a squirrel about the meaning of nuts. Yeah, I think I cracked the code to their secret society.
Picture this: I'm sitting in the park, communing with nature, and this squirrel comes up to me, looks me dead in the eyes, and says, "Dude, acorns are like the cryptocurrency of the forest. Invest wisely." I'm just sitting there, nodding like, "Tell me more, oh wise one."
And then there are birds. I swear, they're like the gossip queens of the animal kingdom. I overheard two pigeons arguing about the best dumpster diving spots. It was like a feathery episode of "Real Housebirds of the City."
But the highlight was when I encountered a wise old tortoise. I asked him the secret to a long life, and he said, "Slow and steady wins the race, but if you're on psychedelics, slow and wobbly is just as good."
So, next time you're tripping in the great outdoors, remember to consult the animal kingdom. They've got life figured out, man.

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