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Packages are like gifts from the past you send to your future self. "Past me knew exactly what I wanted!" Yeah, thanks, past me, for thinking I'd still appreciate a banana slicer in five years.
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Why do we treat packages like they're fragile treasures when they arrive, but as soon as we open them, it's like an episode of "The Floor is Lava"? I become a ninja trying to avoid stepping on the bubble wrap.
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Have you ever received a package and thought, "Wow, this is so well-packed, it's like they're sending me a puzzle to solve before I get to my actual stuff"? I just want my new headphones, not a crash course in origami.
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You ever notice how packages have this magical ability to disappear right when you need them? I swear, I order something online, and the package is like, "Oh, you wanted to see me? Nah, I'm good, I'll be hiding until you stop looking.
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Why do delivery drivers always leave the package in the most inconspicuous place possible? Like, under the welcome mat? Yeah, because nothing says "hidden" like a bulging mat that screams, "Check here!
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Ever notice how delivery notifications have become the highlight of our day? "Your package is out for delivery." It's like a mini Christmas morning. Forget breakfast; I'm ready for the unboxing feast!
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You ever try to discreetly open a package when your neighbor is watching? It's like you're unveiling a secret government document. "Oh, it's just a new book. Nothing to see here, Agent Nosy.
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I love how tracking a package turns us all into amateur detectives. "Oh, it's in the city. Now it's at a distribution center. Wait, is that MY street? Did the delivery guy just pass my house? Why are we turning this into a real-time crime thriller?
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The excitement of ordering a package is directly proportional to the disappointment of realizing it's just the packaging material they forgot to remove. I didn't order bubble wrap; I ordered a blender!
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