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You ever notice how the word "once" always seems to precede some bizarre or unexpected event? Like, "Once upon a time," or "I was at a party, and then, all of a sudden, I was riding a llama. Just once!" I had a 'once' moment recently. I decided to make a midnight snack, you know, the usual: peanut butter and jelly sandwich. So, I'm spreading the peanut butter, and then, 'once,' I realize I'm out of jelly. Now, you might think, "No big deal, just eat a peanut butter sandwich." But no, not for me. My brain went, "Once upon a midnight snack, a man craved jelly, but fate had other plans." So, there I am, on a quest for jelly at 2 AM, like some peanut butter knight on a ridiculous quest.
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You ever feel like life is a series of 'once' choices? You know, those moments where you think, "This is my one shot. I better not mess it up." Like when you're in a fancy restaurant, and the waiter asks if you want dessert. You start thinking, "Am I really going to have dessert? This is a once-in-a-lifetime decision." And then you panic, order the chocolate cake, and suddenly your 'once' moment becomes a 'twice' on the scale. But seriously, why is it that the best desserts have the most complicated names? I'm sitting there like, "I'll have the... uh... Tiramisu-delightful-caramel-fudge-explosion?" It's like ordering a dessert requires a PhD in pastry.
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You ever notice how people always say, "Once upon a time, I was single, and then I met the love of my life"? Well, I met the love of my life once. Literally, just once. We locked eyes in the supermarket, and I thought, "This is it, the moment I've been waiting for." So, I gathered all my courage, walked up, and said, "Excuse me, do you know where the avocados are?" Smooth, right? Turns out, she was a produce manager, and I married her. Once upon a produce section, love blossomed between a man and his avocado queen.
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We all have those 'once in a blue moon' achievements in life. Like finally folding a fitted sheet perfectly. It happens once, and you feel like you've conquered Mount Laundry. Or when you successfully parallel park on the first attempt. That's a 'once' moment worthy of a standing ovation. I mean, who needs GPS when you have unparalleled parking skills? But there are also those 'once' moments where you do something impressive, and no one is around to witness it. Like hitting the trash bin with a crumpled-up piece of paper from across the room. You look around like, "Did anyone see that? No? Well, I guess it's a 'once' moment between me and the waste basket.
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