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You ever notice how the snooze button on the alarm clock is basically just a way for you to practice your finger reflexes every morning? It's like, "Yeah, I'm not getting up, but let me show you how fast I can hit this button.
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We live in a world where we carry supercomputers in our pockets, yet we still struggle to find a pen that works when we need it. It's like, "Sure, I can access the sum of human knowledge, but jotting down a grocery list? That's asking too much.
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Can we talk about how the first pancake is always a sacrificial offering to the breakfast gods? It's like the pancake gods demand a burnt sacrifice before they bless the rest of the stack.
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Grocery store conveyor belts are like the world's slowest treadmill. You stand there, unloading your cart, thinking, "Am I burning calories or just getting hungrier by the second?
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Why is it that when someone asks, "Can I ask you a question?" it's never about your favorite color or dessert? It's always like, "Can I ask you a question? What's the meaning of life?" Well, that escalated quickly!
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Why is it that we trust the weather app more than our own instincts? The app says it's sunny, but my soaked shoes tell a different story. Maybe we should start calling it the "wishful thinking" app.
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You ever notice how the most dangerous game of hide and seek is searching for the TV remote? It's like trying to find a needle in a haystack, but the needle has the power to mute your spouse.
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Parking lots are the only places where you can witness a grown adult transform into a GPS ninja. It's like, "Turn left here, dodge that cart, speed up, and parallel park – you've reached your destination.
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It's fascinating how we can remember lyrics to a song from the '90s but forget why we walked into a room. It's like our brain has a nostalgic playlist on repeat but a glitch in the daily tasks department.
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