17 Jokes For Nfl

Puns

Updated on: Jan 30 2025

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Why did the football player bring string to the NFL game? Because he wanted to tie the score!
I told the football player he should be a gardener. He said, 'Why?' I said, 'Because you know how to plant a good seed!
Why do NFL players make terrible detectives? Because they can't cover anyone!
I asked the NFL player if he wanted to hear a joke about construction. He said, 'Sure, lay it on me!
I asked the football player if he wanted to play hide and seek. He said, 'Sure, I'm great at covering things!
I told my friend I could throw a football across a field. He challenged me, and I said, 'Sure, but the field has to be the size of a TV!
I told the quarterback he should open a bakery. He said, 'Why?' I said, 'Because you knead the dough!

Referee Riddles

The referees in the NFL must have the toughest job. They're like the hall monitors of a bunch of overgrown kids, only armed with whistles instead of detention slips. I bet they secretly enjoy throwing those flags around, it's their version of adult confetti.

Helmet Headaches

Those football helmets are supposed to protect players, but have you seen how big they are? It's like they're auditioning for roles in a space movie. If I wore a helmet that size, I'd need a GPS just to find the refrigerator.

Super Bowl Snacks

The Super Bowl is the one day of the year where we pretend to care about the game while secretly looking forward to the buffet. It's the only event where people will cheer louder for the halftime snacks than the halftime show. I guess that's the real touchdown – when the pizza arrives.

Gridiron Giggles

You ever notice how the NFL is the only place where grown men in spandex run around, smashing into each other, and we call it a sport? I mean, if I did that in my neighborhood, they'd call the cops. But on the football field, it's a touchdown! Maybe I should start scoring points for taking out the trash with style.

The Kickoff Conundrum

Why do they call it a kickoff when the ball is just being kicked away? I mean, if I kicked off every problem in my life, I'd be in outer space by now. Maybe they should call it a Kick-in-the-right-direction-off.

Quarterback Quirks

Watching NFL quarterbacks is like witnessing a high-stakes game of hot potato. They're so paranoid about losing the ball, you'd think it's made of gold. If I guarded my pizza delivery like they guard the football, I'd be the undefeated champion of Friday nights.

Touchdown Tantrums

Have you ever seen a player celebrate a touchdown like they just discovered fire? It's like, calm down buddy, you're not the first person to cross a line. If I celebrated my victories like that, I'd be fist-pumping after successfully microwaving leftovers.

Huddle Hilarity

The huddles in football are like a secret society meeting. They gather in a circle, share a few words, and then break out like they just planned the heist of the century. I tried starting a huddle with my family before deciding what movie to watch, but they just called me weird.

End-Zone Emotions

You know it's an emotional game when players cry after scoring a touchdown. I tried that once after finishing a Sudoku puzzle, but nobody gave me a trophy. Maybe I'll start spiking my pen in celebration. It's the small victories, right?

Fantasy Football Follies

I tried playing fantasy football once, and my team was so bad they should've been sponsored by a tissue company – because we were crying every Sunday. I had more injuries on my roster than a soap opera hospital. Next time, I'm drafting based on the best team colors. At least I'll look good losing.

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