4 Jokes About Monkey

Standup-Comedy Bits

Updated on: Aug 28 2024

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Let's talk about monkey relationships. You know, they say humans are the most advanced species when it comes to love and romance, but have you seen monkeys? Those little guys are the original relationship experts.
I mean, picture this: you're having a disagreement with your significant other. Instead of arguing and throwing around words, just start flinging bananas at each other. It's the perfect way to diffuse tension. "Honey, I don't like your tone!"
banana dodge
"Well, I don't like your attitude!"
banana counterattack
Problem solved.
And have you seen how protective monkeys are of their mates? It's like they invented the term "monkeying around" to keep other suitors away. If someone tries to flirt with your partner, just swing down from a tree and give them the stare-down. Works every time.
But seriously, we could learn a lot about loyalty from monkeys. They stick together through thick and thin. I can't even get my friends to agree on a pizza topping, and here these monkeys are, building a love nest in the treetops.
Maybe we should take relationship advice from monkeys. Imagine going to a couples therapist and they just hand you a bunch of bananas. "Work it out, folks. And don't forget to groom each other for at least 20 minutes a day.
Have you ever noticed how monkeys are the ultimate copycats? They see something, and boom, they're mimicking it like they're auditioning for a jungle talent show. It's like they're saying, "Oh, you're eating a banana like that? Watch me do it with twice the flair!"
I wish I had that kind of confidence. Like, I see someone breakdancing on the street, and I'm like, "Yeah, I can do that too!" Spoiler alert: I cannot breakdance. But monkeys don't care. They'll try anything once. I need that level of "monkey see, monkey do" in my life.
And let's talk about their fashion sense. Have you seen those fashionable monkeys sporting leaves as loincloths? They're like the original trendsetters. Meanwhile, I'm over here struggling to match my socks.
But seriously, we could learn a thing or two about embracing new experiences from monkeys. Next time someone says, "Try this, it's fun!" just channel your inner monkey. "Sure, why not? Let's swing from metaphorical trees and see what happens!
Let's discuss monkeys and technology. Have you ever given a monkey a smartphone? It's like handing them the keys to the universe – chaos ensues. They'll start taking selfies, playing games, and before you know it, they've ordered a lifetime supply of bananas on Amazon.
I mean, monkeys with smartphones – it's a comedy goldmine. You can imagine them scrolling through social media, judging other monkeys' grooming techniques. "Oh, look at Gerald's fur – so last season."
But let's not forget the ultimate monkey innovation – typing. Have you seen those videos of monkeys typing away on keyboards? They look like they're drafting the next great jungle novel. I can barely manage to send a coherent text message, and here they are, probably writing Shakespearean sonnets.
And don't get me started on monkey video calls. I can barely keep a straight face when my cat photobombs my Zoom meetings, but monkeys would take it to a whole new level. "Sorry, boss, I can't make the deadline. My monkey assistant accidentally deleted the entire project. Oops!"
Maybe we should let monkeys take over tech support. Can you imagine calling customer service and getting a monkey on the line? "Hello, this is Bananatech Support. How can I assist you today?" I'd pay good money for that.
So, in conclusion, we might think we're the kings of technology, but give a monkey an iPad, and suddenly they're the Silicon Valley experts we never knew we needed.
You know, I've been thinking a lot about monkeys lately. Yeah, monkeys. They're like the used car salesmen of the animal kingdom. Always up to some kind of shenanigans. I mean, they swing from trees, throw their poop, and basically live life like it's one big jungle frat party.
I was watching a documentary the other day about monkeys, and it hit me – we could learn a thing or two from them. Like, imagine going to a job interview and just flinging your resume across the room. "There you go, boss! That's my CV, right on your face!"
But seriously, monkeys are fascinating. They're like the original influencers, just swinging around, showing off their abs. And here I am, struggling to get a decent selfie angle.
You ever notice how monkeys always seem to have that mischievous grin on their faces? Like they just pulled off the greatest prank in the jungle. I want that level of confidence in my life. Imagine walking into a meeting at work and just flashing a monkey grin. "Yeah, I finished that report early. No big deal. Just swinging through the office, you know?"
Maybe we should take a page out of the monkey handbook – live a little more carefree, embrace our wild side. I'm just saying, the next time someone tells you to act like an adult, just respond with a monkey noise. It's liberating.

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