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Why did the dad ant not get mad when the kids were playing with his phone? Because they were all his little apps!
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Why did the dad bee take a day off? He needed time to process all the honeycomb!
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Why did the dad pepper refuse to play hide-and-seek? Because he knew he would get jalapeño business!
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Why did the dad broom go to therapy? It had too many issues with sweeping things under the rug!
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Why did the dad broom go to therapy? It had too many issues with sweeping things under the rug!
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Why did the dad spider sit down next to his computer? He wanted to keep an eye on the web!
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Why did the dad cookie take his kids to school? Because he wanted them to be chip off the old block!
My father figure could write a book: 'The Disappearing Act of Parenting.'
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They say everyone's got a story to tell. Well, my dad could author a bestseller titled 'How to Perfect the Art of Vanishing.' It's a page-turner, quite literally, as you flip through pages searching for any sign of his presence.
My 'Dad Bod' is more present than my actual dad.
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They say a father figure is important in life. Well, I've got a figure — a dad bod figure. It's been so supportive; it's always there for me, especially when I'm reaching for that extra slice of pizza.
My dad could play hide-and-seek professionally.
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I'm convinced my father figure moonlights as a hide-and-seek champion. I mean, how else do you explain his vanishing acts? I'm starting to think he's prepping for the next Olympics in 'Disappearing Dad' category.
Dad? More like 'Dodged,' am I right?
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You know, my father figure was so elusive, I started thinking he was training for hide-and-seek championships. The man disappeared more often than my WiFi signal in a storm!
My father figure's the reason I excel at 'Finding Nemo.'
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Growing up, I became an expert at finding things: remote control, lost socks, my father figure's whereabouts. Let's just say, if 'Where's Waldo' was replaced with 'Where's Dad,' I'd win every time.
My dad's ghosting game? A true role model.
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Ever wanted to learn the art of ghosting? Look no further than my dad. He's not just my father figure; he's a mentor in the disappearing act! I mean, Hogwarts would be jealous of his invisibility cloak.
My dad's consistency? Like a unicorn sighting.
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People say a father figure brings stability. Well, my dad's consistency in being absent made Bigfoot sightings seem more frequent. At least Bigfoot shows up in blurry photos; my dad's just a ghost.
My dad's disappearance? The only thing consistent about him.
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The only consistent thing about my father figure? His inconsistency! He's more sporadic than the weather in England. Seriously, the only thing that's reliably unreliable is his presence.
My father figure's favorite place? The milk carton.
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My dad was so into being an elusive figure; I thought he was aiming to be the next missing person on a milk carton. I'd probably find him sooner in a Where's Waldo book!
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