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You ever notice how people these days are so engrossed in their technology? I mean, we're all guilty of it. I recently saw a couple at a restaurant, and instead of engaging in conversation, they were both just staring at their phones. I thought, "Are they texting each other? Did I miss the memo on the new form of communication?" I tried doing that with my partner. We were sitting across from each other, and I sent a text, "How's your day?" She looked up, confused, and said, "Why are you texting me? We're right here!" I said, "I thought we were being modern, babe!"
Now, we're so engrossed in technology that we're even getting ghosted by ghosts. I had a ghost haunting my house, and I thought we were getting along. But one day, I sent a message via Ouija board, and suddenly, no response. I was ghosted by a ghost! I didn't even get a spectral "It's not you; it's me.
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Fitness trends are another level of engrossment. There's always some new workout craze that promises to transform your body in 30 days. I tried one of those high-intensity workouts, and after 10 minutes, I was on the floor gasping for breath. I thought I was in shape, but apparently, round is a shape too. And don't get me started on fitness influencers. They're always posting these inspirational quotes like, "Sweat is just your fat crying." Well, my fat must be watching 'The Notebook' because it's been crying for days!
I saw a new fitness trend where people were doing yoga with their pets. I tried it with my cat, and let me tell you, downward dog turned into downward cat-chases-tail, and cobra pose became "please don't scratch me." I guess my cat isn't as Zen as I thought.
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Nowadays, everyone is into self-help books and seminars. People are so engrossed in becoming their best selves that they're starting to sound like walking Pinterest boards. I attended a self-help seminar, and the speaker said, "You are what you think." So now, I identify as a pizza because that's all I think about. I read a self-help book that claimed, "You can achieve anything if you visualize it." So, I've been visualizing myself on a beach sipping a cocktail. Guess what? I'm still stuck in traffic, but at least I'm daydreaming about it with a big smile on my face.
We're so obsessed with self-improvement that I'm waiting for the day when someone writes a book titled, "How to Improve Your Self-Improvement Techniques." I can already see myself buying that book and thinking, "This is the one that will finally change my life!
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Let's talk about streaming services. I love how we have access to all these amazing shows and movies, but it's a double-edged sword. I spent an entire weekend watching a new series, and by Sunday night, I was so engrossed in the plot that I started referring to my life as "Season 34, Episode 27." Have you ever been binge-watching a show, and then the dreaded moment comes when you realize you've reached the end? It's like breaking up with a fictional world. You're left wondering, "What do I do with my life now? Where are my fictional friends?!"
I was so engrossed in a show that I started adopting the characters' habits. My friends were concerned when I showed up to a dinner party dressed as a medieval knight. I said, "I'm just embracing the 'Game of Forks' theme!
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