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You know, I've been thinking a lot about dependency lately. We're all dependent on something, right? I mean, I depend on coffee to wake up in the morning. And don't get me started on my phone - if I leave that thing at home, it's like I've lost a limb. But the weirdest dependency has to be with technology. I depend on Google so much; I feel like if Google went down for a day, we'd all be wandering the streets like lost puppies. "Hey, do you know how to get to the grocery store?" And we'd be like, "I don't know, man, I've always used Google Maps!
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So, I've been trying to get in shape lately. The problem is, I'm dependent on junk food. I tried going on a diet, but my refrigerator is like the ultimate enabler. It's always there, whispering sweet nothings like, "Come on, just one more slice of cake won't hurt." I'm starting to think my fridge is in cahoots with my treadmill. They're in this conspiracy to keep me in a perpetual state of trying to lose weight. I call it the "Dependency Diet," where the only thing you shed is your self-esteem.
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Work is another place where dependency plays mind games with you. Have you ever been in a meeting where everyone is throwing around acronyms like confetti at a parade? I have no idea what they're talking about half the time. I just nod and smile, hoping I'm not agreeing to something ridiculous. I'm starting to think the success of companies depends on employees pretending they understand corporate jargon. It's like a secret code, and if you crack it, you get a promotion. If not, you end up in the basement with Milton from "Office Space," talking to your stapler.
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Let's talk about relationships. They say relationships are built on trust, but I think they're built on dependency. I asked my partner the other day, "Do you love me or do you just depend on my excellent taste in movies?" It's a valid question! And don't even get me started on pets. I love my dog, but I think he just depends on me for snacks. I'm starting to feel like a vending machine with a "pet" setting. "Insert treat, get a tail wag." It's like living with a tiny, furry IRS.
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