4 Jokes For Copypasta

Standup-Comedy Bits

Updated on: Aug 05 2024

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You ever come across something on the internet that's so overused, so beaten to death that you can practically hear the keyboard smashing in desperation? I'm talking about copypasta, folks. You know, those endless, repetitive chunks of text that people just copy and paste everywhere. It's like the junk mail of the internet. You open it, and you instantly regret your life choices.
I found myself reading one of those copypasta monstrosities the other day. It was like a never-ending story, but instead of dragons and heroes, it was about a guy who claimed to have a pet rock with a more exciting life than him. I mean, come on, my pet rock has a better social life? That's a new low, even for me.
And then there's the Navy SEAL copypasta. You know the one. The guy who's apparently trained in gorilla warfare and has over 300 confirmed kills. I'm just sitting here thinking, "Buddy, if you're that good, maybe consider a career change? You're wasting your talents on the internet."
I've started using copypasta in my everyday life. Last week, my boss asked me for a progress report, and I sent him the Navy SEAL copypasta. Let's just say, he wasn't as impressed with my combat skills as I thought he'd be. HR got involved; it was a whole thing.
You know you've hit rock bottom when your friends stage a copypasta intervention. I walked into my living room, and there they were, holding printouts of my most egregious copypasta offenses. It felt like an episode of "Cops," but instead of drugs, they were busting me for excessive use of the Navy SEAL copypasta.
They had prepared speeches and everything. "We love you, man, but we can't keep pretending your keyboard diarrhea is normal." It was like a copypasta version of tough love.
I tried to defend myself, explaining that copypasta is just my way of expressing creativity in the digital age. They weren't buying it. So now, I'm coping with a copypasta-free lifestyle, one original thought at a time. It's rough, let me tell you. But hey, at least my pet rock is thriving in this copypasta-free environment.
Can we talk about autocorrect for a moment? It's like having a grammar-obsessed robot following you around, judging your every keystroke. But you know what's worse? When autocorrect and copypasta team up.
I was trying to send a heartfelt message to my friend, you know, one of those "I appreciate you" kind of things. So, I start typing, and autocorrect decides it knows better. Instead of "You mean a lot to me," it changed it to "You mow a lot to me." Like, what? Is my phone flirting with my lawnmower behind my back?
But the real kicker is when autocorrect and copypasta joined forces. I was trying to text my mom a recipe for chocolate chip cookies, and somehow, it turned into the entire Bee Movie script. Mom called me, confused as ever, asking if I've been hanging out with Jerry Seinfeld.
So now, I've given up on heartfelt messages and just let autocorrect and copypasta have their way. My texts look like a collaboration between a preschooler with a sugar rush and an AI with a sense of humor that only it understands.
You ever notice how certain copypastas feel like they're part of some secret society? Like, there's a copypasta Illuminati out there, carefully crafting these messages to mess with our minds. Take the "Lenny Face," for example. You know, the creepy winking emoticon. I swear, that thing has more hidden meanings than a Dan Brown novel.
I tried to decode the Lenny Face once. Spent hours staring at it, rotating my phone, squinting my eyes like I was some kind of copypasta detective. Turns out, it's just a winky face gone wrong. Or maybe it's gone right? I don't know; I'm still confused.
And then there's the Navy SEAL copypasta again. It's like the Rosetta Stone of internet tough guy language. If you can decipher that, you're basically fluent in meme.
I'm convinced there's a copypasta mastermind out there, pulling the strings, making us question the very fabric of reality. One day, we'll find out it's just a group of cats typing away on a keyboard, and we'll have to acknowledge them as our meme overlords.

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