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Ever notice how a simple "we need to talk" text can send you into a full-blown panic? It's like a horror movie where you're the unsuspecting victim, and the ghost of relationship issues is about to jump-scare you.
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Group chats are the Bermuda Triangle of communication. You go in thinking you'll have a quick chat, and suddenly hours have passed, and you've lost track of who said what. It's like a digital black hole sucking away your time and attention.
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You ever try to end a phone call but end up in a never-ending loop of saying goodbye? It's like a polite tug-of-war. "Okay, bye." "Bye-bye." "Take care." "You too." "Goodbye." "Later." "Alright, see ya." It's a verbal Groundhog Day.
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Why do people feel the need to leave voicemails that are longer than a Marvel movie? I see I missed your call; just shoot me a text like a normal person. I don't need a dramatic monologue about the deli you went to and your cat's latest antics.
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The silent treatment is the oldest form of communication, and yet it's still as effective as ever. It's like we're all trying to win the gold medal in the "Who Can Pretend Not to Care the Most" Olympics.
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The art of small talk is like a delicate dance. "How's the weather?" is the tango of conversation – you're not really sure why you're doing it, but everyone else seems to be, so you join in.
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Communication in the age of autocorrect is like walking through a minefield. I sent a text saying, "I'll be there in a sec," and it auto-corrected to "I'll be there in a sack." Well, that took the conversation in a whole different direction.
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Social media has turned us all into amateur detectives. You ever find yourself scrolling through someone's photos from three years ago, accidentally liking one, and then you're in this deep investigative spiral, trying to unlike it before they notice? Smooth, Sherlock.
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You ever notice how text messages have become the modern-day hieroglyphics? I mean, I get a message, and half the time, I'm like, "Is this a laughing emoji or a crying emoji? Am I supposed to be happy or sending condolences? Help me, Rosetta Stone!
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