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Joke Types
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Why did the child bring a ladder to school? Because he wanted to go to high school.
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Why did the scarecrow become a successful politician? Because he was outstanding in his field.
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Why did the grammar book break up with the dictionary? It found it too defining for the relationship.
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I told my computer I needed a break, and now it won't stop sending me vacation ads. It's become a bit byte-ish.
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I asked my child if he could put the cat out. He replied, 'I didn't know it was on fire.
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Why did the child bring a ladder to school? Because he wanted to go to high school.
Children in English
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Kids these days are so fluent in English; they probably correct their teachers. My friend's daughter came home one day and said, Dad, my teacher said 'ain't' isn't a word. He replied, Sweetheart, tell your teacher that 'ain't' is in the dictionary. It's right there between 'amn't' and 'y'all.'
Children in English
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I tried teaching my nephew some basic English, you know, ABCs and stuff. He looked at me and said, Uncle, I already know ABCs. What's next? Quantum physics? I felt like I was talking to a tiny Stephen Hawking in a Spider-Man onesie.
Children in English
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Children are like tiny language critics. I overheard my neighbor's kid arguing with his friend, saying, It's not 'I goed,' it's 'I went.' Do I look like I speak toddler, Jeremy? I was impressed; this kid was like a grammar ninja in Batman pajamas.
Children in English
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Kids these days are so tech-savvy. My nephew handed me his iPad and said, Uncle, download some games for me. I spent an hour trying to figure it out. He took it back, tapped the screen twice, and said, There you go, the wonders of modern technology. I felt like a Neanderthal with a tablet.
Children in English
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I tried to outsmart my daughter with a riddle. I said, What has keys but can't open locks? She thought for a moment and replied, Dad, that's easy—it's a piano. And you need piano lessons, by the way.
Children in English
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You ever notice how children can speak English better than adults? I asked a kid for directions the other day, and he started giving me coordinates, latitude, and longitude. I was like, Kid, I just want to find the nearest ice cream truck, not join a secret spy mission!
Children in English
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I tried to impress my niece with my vocabulary. I said, Did you know I'm ambidextrous? She looked at me and said, Uncle, I'm eight, and even I know that means you can use both hands. You're not special; you're just indecisive.
Children in English
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I asked my son if he wanted to hear a joke. He said, Sure, Dad, but make it a good one. So, I told him my bank balance. He laughed so hard; I think he might become a stand-up accountant one day.
Children in English
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I tried to impress a kid with my knowledge of nursery rhymes. I started, Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall. The kid finished, Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. Then he looked at me and asked, Why couldn't all the king's horses and all the king's men just use super glue? I mean, it's not rocket science. Touché, kid, touché.
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