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You know, I love working with a ghostwriter, but sometimes they leave me notes that might as well be hieroglyphics. Seriously, they'll scribble something down, hand it over, and I'm staring at it like I'm trying to decipher an ancient code. It's like playing a game of charades, but instead of acting things out, they're playing Pictionary with words! I'm looking at one note right now that just says, "can't read." Well, thank you, Captain Obvious! That's like getting a GPS that says, "You are here" without telling you where "here" is! I mean, am I supposed to perform a mind-reading routine now? "Ladies and gentlemen, let me telepathically transmit the funniest jokes you've ever heard!"
I've considered hiring a translator just for these notes. You know, someone who's fluent in "illegible handwriting." I'll be there, trying to crack the Da Vinci Code of scribbles, and they'll come in like, "Ah, yes, this says, 'Bring the house down with laughter.' Solid advice, thanks!"
It's a real challenge, folks. I'm thinking of starting a handwriting analysis course just to decode these hieroglyphics. "Lesson one: Is this a 'K' or a 'R'? Bonus points if you can tell me if it's upside down!
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You ever get a note that looks like it was written by a doctor who's been drinking espresso all day? My ghostwriter is a master of the cryptic arts. I've received notes that seem like they've been drafted by a caffeinated chicken holding a pen with its feet! I'm staring at one note right now that simply says, "can't read." And I'm thinking, "You know what? I can't, indeed!" It's like they're channeling the spirit of a medieval scribe who had a beef with legibility.
Sometimes I wonder if they're just messing with me. Like, is this an experiment to test how far my imagination can stretch? "Here's a blank page, and your challenge, should you choose to accept it, is to conjure jokes out of thin air!"
I've considered hiring a team of detectives just to crack the code of these notes. Picture this: a squad of Sherlock Holmes types, magnifying glasses in hand, poring over these scribbles, trying to uncover the hidden comedy gems within.
I've come to the conclusion that deciphering these notes should be an Olympic sport. "And here we have the contestant from Standupstan, attempting the elusive 'Is this an 'A' or a 'U'?' maneuver. Truly thrilling!
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You ever feel like you're caught in a game of telephone, except it's between your ghostwriter's brain and their pen? I swear, the notes I receive look like they've been translated into Klingon and back! I've got a note here that simply says, "can't read." And I'm thinking, "Well, join the club, note! You and I have something in common." It's like they've invented a new language, and I didn't get the memo!
I've tried everything to decipher these notes. I even held it up to a mirror, thinking it might be a secret message written backward. Turns out, it's just as unreadable upside down!
I've considered starting a hotline for comedians in distress, struggling to decode their ghostwriters' messages. "Press 1 if your note resembles ancient hieroglyphs. Press 2 if you suspect your ghostwriter moonlights as a cryptographer."
I've come to the conclusion that these notes are performance art in themselves. Maybe I'll just take the stage, hold up the indecipherable scribble, and say, "Ladies and gentlemen, behold the enigma of comedy! Interpret this note, and you might win a Nobel Prize!
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Ever had that moment when someone hands you a note, and you're pretty sure it's in English, but it's like it's been translated from another language by a mischievous AI? I'm convinced my ghostwriter is secretly a master of linguistic chaos. I got one note that read, "can't read." And I thought, "Maybe it's not a plea for help. Maybe it's a reminder: 'You can't read minds, remember that!'" But it's not just that note; it's a whole saga of cryptic messages. Sometimes I feel like I'm decoding the Rosetta Stone trying to figure out what they mean!
It's like a game of Mad Libs gone wrong. They're filling in the blanks with riddles instead of punchlines. "Insert hilarious joke here. Warning: May cause confusion, frustration, and mild existential crises."
And then, when I try to ask them what they meant, they're like, "Oh, it was a typo. I meant 'cat instead.'" Cat instead of what? The punchline? The setup? My sanity? It's like a puzzle where the pieces keep changing shape when you're not looking.
I'm thinking of starting a support group for comedians who receive enigmatic notes. We'll sit in a circle, holding our illegible scripts, and try to decipher them collectively. Who knows, maybe we'll create a new form of comedy: the mystery joke! "Why did the chicken cross the... we'll never know!
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