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There's a certain level of panic that sets in when you're approaching a revolving door and someone in front of you is moving briskly. It's like a forced dance – do the quickstep or risk getting door-slapped.
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Online shopping has turned us all into professional clickers. We scroll through products so briskly, it's like we're training for the 'Add to Cart' Olympics. My fingers have never moved faster, and my wallet has never wept more silently.
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The gym is the only place where people walk briskly on a treadmill but act like they're on a casual stroll in the park. It's a brisk walk with a side of denial – "I'm definitely not working up a sweat; I'm just practicing my power walk.
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You ever notice how people walk briskly when they're on a phone call? It's like the faster they walk, the clearer the reception gets. I tried it, but all it did was give me a brisk shin splint.
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Fast-food drive-thrus have mastered the art of making you feel like you're moving briskly until you hit that one car in front of you that decides to place an order for the entire neighborhood. Suddenly, your lunch break turns into a culinary expedition.
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Have you ever been stuck behind someone at the grocery store who's scanning items at the speed of light? I mean, they're moving so briskly, I'm convinced they're training for the checkout Olympics. Meanwhile, I'm over here struggling with a stubborn barcode like it's a puzzle from a spy movie.
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Why is it that elevators have that 'door close' button if it's just for show? You press it briskly, hoping for a speedy exit, but it feels more like a placebo button. I'm convinced it's just there to give us a false sense of control in the vertical transportation game.
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You know you're an adult when your definition of a wild night is doing laundry at a brisk pace because you realize you're out of socks for the next day. Ah, the thrilling world of adulthood.
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You know you're in a fancy restaurant when the waiter pours water into your glass with a certain level of briskness, as if they're auditioning for a water-pouring championship. I just want hydration, not a water-themed performance art piece.
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