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Why did the astronaut get arrested? He took off without permission and needed bail to 'launch' his defense!
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Why was the banker put behind bars? He was guilty of making 'unauthorized withdrawals' and needed bail to get out!
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Why did the arrested musician need bail? Because he got caught for a-resting beats!
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Why did the gardener get arrested? He was caught 'planting evidence' and needed bail to 'bloom' out of jail!
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Why did the judge set the bail so high? He wanted to make sure the defendant was in a 'cash' crunch!
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Why did the comedian refuse to pay bail? He said it was against his 'principals' to be confined!
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Why did the basketball player get arrested during the game? He was guilty of dribbling too much, and the ref called for bail!
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Why was the bee arrested? It was charged with 'buzzing' under the influence and needed bail to fly out!
Bail, the closest legal thing to a 'Do Over' button in life.
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You know, in video games, they have this concept of 'respawning' when things go wrong. In real life, it's more like 'bail-out' and respawn at home, hoping nobody noticed.
Bail, the only time 'running late' feels like a legitimate career choice.
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You ever notice how posting bail is like a high-stakes game of Monopoly? Instead of passing 'Go' and collecting $200, you're passing 'Jail' and losing $2,000.
Bail, turning the justice system into a reverse Kickstarter campaign.
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Imagine if they had stretch goals for bail amounts. Congratulations! You've reached the $5,000 mark, you now get a free T-shirt that says 'I Survived My Weekend Behind Bars.'
Bail, the ultimate 'oops' subscription service for the chronically adventurous.
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Some people have Netflix subscriptions, I have a bail bondsman on speed dial. It's like a monthly reminder that I'm living life on the edge, literally and financially.
Bail, the fine art of paying to exit life's 'Are You Sure You Want to Proceed?' pop-up.
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Ever wish life had a 'cancel' button? Well, bail is the closest thing we've got, except instead of canceling, it just postpones the inevitable consequences.
Bail: the VIP pass to the exclusive club of bad decisions.
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Sometimes I wonder if there's an underground network where they compete for the most creative ways to get into trouble. Oh, you used a llama in your prank? Amateur. I posted bail just for attending a knitting circle.
Bail is like a reverse lottery ticket – you pay to avoid hitting the jackpot of trouble.
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I mean, if there was a loyalty program for bail bonds, some of us would have a platinum membership by now. Congratulations, sir, here's your free 'Get Out of Jail' card!
Bail, the one payment plan you hope never earns you reward points.
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They should introduce a 'frequent bailer' program. Congratulations, you've bailed out for the fifth time! Here's a free 'Avoiding Trouble 101' seminar.
Bail, the ultimate 'I Owe You' slip in the game of adulting.
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I've started keeping a list of my friends' bail contributions. It's like a weird version of 'IOU' coupons – 'Redeem for One Wild Night Out, Limited Time Offer!
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