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The Stealth Stalker
Trying to learn about the girl you like without being creepy.
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I bumped into her at the bookstore, pretending to browse the same section. I picked up a book about astronomy and asked, "Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?" She replied, "I believe in privacy laws.
The Gift Guru
Choosing the perfect gift for the girl you like.
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I got her a thoughtful, personalized gift, and she said, "How did you know?" I smiled and said, "I have my ways." Little does she know, my way was stalking her Pinterest boards for the past six months.
The Overthinker's Odyssey
Overanalyzing every interaction with the girl you like.
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I complimented her dress, and she said, "Thanks, I got it on sale." Now, I'm wondering if she meant the dress or the compliment. Is she giving me a discount on compliments? Is there a loyalty program?
The Wingman Woes
When your friends try to help you impress the girl you like.
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They insisted on creating a distraction so I could impress her. They staged a fake fight, and she looked at me and said, "Are these your friends?" I nodded, and she said, "Good luck with your kindergarten reunion.
The Clueless Crush
When you have a crush on a girl but have no idea if she's into you.
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I thought I'd be smooth and send her a text saying, "Are you a magician? Because whenever I look at you, everyone else disappears." She replied, "No, I'm an accountant. Making things disappear is my job.
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