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Why did the Twitter profile break up with the Facebook profile? It found someone more 'likable.
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Why did the LinkedIn profile go to therapy? It felt a bit too professionally detached.
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Why did the Instagram influencer start a comedy club? They knew how to frame a joke.
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Why did the keyboard and mouse go to couples therapy? They couldn't find a common 'click.
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Why did the computer go to therapy? It had too many unresolved issues in its profile.
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Why did the profile picture break up with the bio? It felt it was too one-dimensional.
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Why did the computer apply for a job? It wanted a byte at the company culture.
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Why did the social media profile become a chef? It knew how to stir up some great content.
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I tried to make my online dating profile sound more adventurous. Now it says, 'I enjoy long romantic walks to the fridge and extreme napping. Looking for someone to join me on this thrilling journey called life.'
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I asked my friend for advice on improving my online dating profile, and he said, 'Be mysterious.' So, now my profile just says, 'I have a secret, but I can't tell you.' Needless to say, my dating life is a mystery to everyone, including me.
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My dating profile says I'm 'outdoorsy.' What it really means is I like to open my windows while binge-watching Netflix. I call it 'communing with nature from the comfort of my couch.'
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I recently tried online dating, and my profile picture was so old that when I showed up for the date, my date asked if I had a time machine instead of a car. Note to self: update profile and invest in anti-aging cream.
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I thought I'd impress people with my cooking skills on my dating profile. Now, my bio reads, 'I can make a mean bowl of cereal and toast bread without burning it. Masterchef, here I come!'
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Dating is like trying to assemble furniture from IKEA. You start with a profile, follow the instructions, but somehow end up with a dysfunctional relationship and a couple of leftover emotional screws.
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I decided to join a gym to improve my dating profile. Turns out, my idea of a 'six-pack' is not what they had in mind. They were talking about abs, not a six-pack of donuts in my fridge.
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I added 'world traveler' to my dating profile. Little did they know, I've traveled to the world of my imagination and back. Turns out, it's not a popular vacation destination.
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I updated my dating profile to include my love for puns. Now, I'm stuck in a never-ending cycle of cheesy pick-up lines. I guess you could say my love life is a real 'groaner.'
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