4 Jokes About Online Meetings

Standup-Comedy Bits

Updated on: Jun 14 2024

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You ever notice how online meetings are like the Hunger Games, but for your attention? It's survival of the fittest mute button! You're there, trying to look interested, fighting off distractions like you're battling mutant squirrels in the arena.
And then there's that one person who never mutes themselves. It's like they're the tribute from District Annoying. They're sitting there, typing away on their keyboard, having a full-on conversation with someone off-screen. I'm half expecting them to start shooting arrows at their cat or something.
But the worst part is when you accidentally unmute yourself, and suddenly everyone can hear your dog barking, your neighbor mowing the lawn, and your stomach growling louder than a hungry bear. It's a symphony of chaos, and you're the unwilling conductor.
Have you noticed that online meetings turn everyone into accidental ninjas? The art of unmuting has become a stealthy endeavor. It's like a covert mission where you're trying to unmute without anyone noticing, hoping you don't make a sound like a ninja landing on a squeaky floorboard.
But there's always that one person who forgets they're on mute and starts talking to themselves. It's the digital equivalent of having a private conversation in a public restroom. We've all been there – mid-sentence, realizing nobody heard a word you said, and now you're questioning your existence.
Let's talk about Zoom backgrounds for a moment. People have taken it to a whole new level. I joined a meeting the other day, and my colleague had transformed their background into a tropical beach. I thought I accidentally stumbled into a virtual vacation.
Meanwhile, my background is a constant struggle between a messy room and a pile of laundry. I've tried to jazz it up, but no matter what I do, it still screams, "This person has not cleaned in weeks."
And don't even get me started on those virtual backgrounds that make you look like you're in a newsroom. I tried it once, and suddenly I felt the need to report on the latest developments in my kitchen. "Breaking news: I found the last slice of pizza in the fridge.
Let's discuss online applause. You finish your presentation, and instead of the usual round of applause, it's a series of pixelated hands clapping in silence. It's the most awkward form of celebration, like a golf clap after a mediocre swing.
And then there's the overachiever who uses the reaction emojis – the thumbs up, the heart, the laugh. It's like they're auditioning for a role in an animated movie. "And for my next act, I'll express joy using only digital symbols."
In the end, we're all just trying to figure out the appropriate way to show appreciation without accidentally sending a thumbs down. It's the modern-day struggle of our virtual existence.

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