17 Jokes For My Pillow

Puns

Updated on: Nov 24 2024

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Why did the pillow go to the party? It wanted to be a 'pillow of the community'!
Why did the pillow apply for a job? It wanted a cushy position!
Why did the pillow go to school? It wanted to learn how to be a 'smart cushion'!
What did the pillow say to the tired person? 'Rest assured, I've got your back!
What do you call a pillow that plays the guitar? A rockin' cushion!
I thought about becoming a pillow salesman, but I didn't want to cushion the market!
I tried to write a joke on my pillow, but it was too soft to hold the pen. It was an un-'write'-ful attempt!
I bought a 'cooling gel' pillow once. Turns out, it's just a fancy way of saying, 'Congratulations, you now own a refrigerated brick for your head.' I felt like I was sleeping on a popsicle.
I tried one of those fancy ergonomic pillows. Woke up feeling like I'd been headbutted by a disgruntled giraffe. Turns out, my neck prefers to be in a committed relationship with a plain, old-fashioned pillow.
My pillow is a silent critic. It's like, 'You call that a night's sleep? You snore like a chainsaw, toss like a salad, and steal the covers like a blanket bandit.' I need a pillow that comes with a compliment feature instead.
My pillow has trust issues. I lay down, and it's like, 'Are you sure you're going to sleep, or are you plotting to smother me in my sleep?' It's a tough relationship, folks.
They say pillows collect dust mites over time. Mine must have a whole civilization living rent-free. I've got the Marriott of microscopic beings in my bedroom!
My pillow and I are in a complicated relationship. It's always accusing me of pillow talk with other cushions. 'Who's this throw pillow you've been cozying up to on the couch?' It's like a jealous partner with no arms.
You know you're an adult when getting a new pillow feels like winning the lottery. 'Oh, what's that? I won the memory foam jackpot? Call me Pillowaire!'
My Pillow: More like My Personal Flotation Device. I wake up every morning feeling like I just survived a shipwreck in the sea of dreams!
My pillow is like a therapist. It hears all my thoughts, supports me in my struggles, and occasionally whispers, 'Have you tried therapy?' It's a judgmental cushion.
They say you should replace your pillow every few years. I'm over here thinking, 'If only my relationships had such a clear expiration date.' Pillow, you're the longest commitment I've ever made!

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