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The Standup Comedian's Modem
Coping with the pressure of always having to deliver laughter.
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My modem wanted to be a motivational speaker. It said, "Life is like a Wi-Fi signal; sometimes it's strong, sometimes it drops out unexpectedly. But hey, we keep trying to connect, right?" I told it, "Save the inspiration for the routers, buddy.
The Modem Therapist
Modems with connection issues seeking counseling.
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I overheard two modems gossiping about their users. One said, "My guy thinks he's a tech genius just because he can reboot me." The other replied, "Well, mine thinks I'm a time machine because he blames me for the lag in his online games.
The Time Traveler
Trying to explain modems to someone from the past.
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I told my friend from the '90s that modems are ancient history. He said, "Really? So, no more that beautiful sound of connecting to the internet?" I said, "Yeah, now we just get to hear the beautiful sound of our existential crisis while waiting for websites to load.
The Tech Support Guy
Dealing with customers who think a modem is a mystical object.
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One guy asked me if his modem needed a bedtime story to work better. I said, "Well, it does appreciate a good 'byte' before sleep, but I think it prefers a stable connection over a bedtime story.
The Paranoid User
Believing the modem is plotting against them.
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Someone called me in a panic, saying their modem was giving them the silent treatment. I told them, "That's just its way of saying, 'I need a break from all these cat videos.' It's not personal; it's just trying to maintain its sanity.
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