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I asked my GPS for directions to a good joke. It said, 'Recalculating... You've reached your destination. It's you.
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I asked the waiter for a joke, and he said the service here is no laughing matter.
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I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.
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I told my computer I needed a break, and now it won't stop sending me vacation ads.
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I asked the librarian if the library had a book on paranoia. She whispered, 'They're right behind you.
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