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Why did the gossip magazine go out of business? They couldn't keep their noses out of other people's affairs!
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Why don't scientists gossip about atoms? Because they make up everything!
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Why did the broom go to therapy? It felt swept up in other people's problems!
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Why did the notebook avoid drama? It knew how to keep its pages to itself!
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Why did the calendar mind its own business? It wanted to stay days away from drama!
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Why did the detective start gardening? He wanted to grow some 'mind your own peas'!
The Intrusive Interrogator
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Ever had someone interrogate you about your weekend plans like they're the FBI? I finally looked at this guy and said, Mind your own business! Now, when he asks about my weekend, I give him a detailed itinerary for a secret mission to buy groceries.
The Info Avenger
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You know you've crossed a line when you accidentally overhear someone's conversation, and they look at you like you just stole their lunch money. I had to set boundaries with this dude and say, Mind your own business! Now he treats conversations like they're crime scenes, putting up imaginary 'Do Not Cross' tape.
The Sherlock of Small Talk
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There's always that one guy at the party who turns small talk into a full-scale investigation. I told him, Mind your own business! Now, when he approaches me, I act like a closed book. If he tries to open it, I scream, Spoiler alert!
The Gossip GPS
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I've got a friend who's like a human GPS, but instead of directions, she gives me the latest gossip coordinates. I had to sit her down and say, Mind your own business! She took it so seriously; now, when I ask her about her day, she responds with, That information is classified.
The Sniffing Sleuth
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My dog has a nose for trouble, and by trouble, I mean my personal space. I told him, Mind your own business! Now, every time I'm on the phone, he stares at me like he's trying to sniff out classified information. I'm waiting for him to start taking notes.
The Jedi Mind-Your-Own-Business Trick
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I tried using the Jedi mind trick on my nosy neighbor. I waved my hand and said, You will mind your own business. She just looked at me and said, Is that some new app? Where can I download it? I guess the Force isn't strong with this one.
Invasion of the Privacy Snatchers
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I'm convinced my nosy co-worker majored in espionage in college. If snooping was an Olympic sport, she'd be on the Wheaties box. I finally had to pull her aside and say, Mind your own business! Now, when I see her coming, I hide my coffee mug like it's the secret formula for Coca-Cola.
The Speculation Spectator
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There's always that one friend who can turn a molehill of information into Mount Everest. I had to tell him, Mind your own business! Now, when he speculates about my life, I respond with, You're about as accurate as a weatherman with a magic eight ball.
The Whisper Whisperer
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I've got a friend who whispers so quietly, she makes ASMR sound like a heavy metal concert. I had to tell her, Mind your own business! Now, when she whispers, I pretend I'm an undercover agent, decoding the world's quietest secret messages.
The Nosy Ninja
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You ever meet those people who are like human metal detectors for drama? They should come with caution tape. I mean, I tried being subtle once, but my nosy neighbor could probably hear a mouse whispering in my house. I told her, Lady, mind your own business. Now I catch her outside my window with binoculars, probably hoping to decode my microwave popcorn habits.
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