18 Kids About Football Jokes

Puns

Updated on: Sep 24 2024

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What do you call a dinosaur playing football? A dino-score!
What did the football say to the punter? 'You really kick butt!
What did the football say to the grass? 'I get a kick out of you!
What do you call a kid who doesn't like football? A rebel without a 'cause-kick'!
What do you call a football player who dances? The end zone dancer!
Why did the football team go to the bank? To get their quarterback!
Why did the football team go to space? To get some 'out-of-this-world' touchdowns!
What's a football player's favorite candy? Snickers - because they love to tackle hunger!

The Junior Strategists

You ever watch kids play football? It's like witnessing a tiny United Nations of chaos. They've got more strategies than a boardroom meeting. You see one kid doing a somersault while the other is checking his shoelaces – it's the secret handshake of the soccer field. It's not a game; it's an avant-garde performance of confusion.

Goalie or Goalpost?

Trying to figure out who's the goalie in a kids' football game is like playing a game of Where's Waldo. One moment you see a kid standing by the goalpost, the next, he's on the opposite end chasing a butterfly. I think the goalposts have a better attention span than these young goalkeepers.

Post-Game Victory Lap

After the game, these kids celebrate like they've just won the World Cup. It doesn't matter if the score is 10-0; everyone gets a participation trophy, and they parade around the field like conquering heroes. I love the enthusiasm, but let's be honest – the real winners are the parents who survived another chaotic game without pulling their hair out.

The Offside Debate

Kids and the offside rule are like oil and water – they just don't mix. The concept of standing in line is challenging, let alone grasping the idea of being offside. They're all convinced the invisible line only applies to the neighbor's yard when they're retrieving the ball.

Coach Dad on the Sidelines

There's always that one dad on the sidelines who thinks he's coaching the next generation of Messi. He's shouting instructions like he's orchestrating a military operation. Pass! Shoot! No, not that way! I'm just waiting for him to pull out a whiteboard and start drawing diagrams.

Dribbling or Dancing?

Watching kids dribble the ball is like witnessing a dance-off with a soccer twist. The ball is the dance partner, and they're pulling off moves that would make Michael Jackson jealous. It's less about getting to the goal and more about showcasing their soccer-inspired moonwalk.

Injury Time Dramatics

These kids take injury time more seriously than professional players. A kid grazes his knee, and suddenly it's a Shakespearean tragedy. He's writhing on the ground, holding his leg like he just took a sniper shot. I'm waiting for someone to pull out an imaginary yellow card and give it to the invisible opponent who committed the crime.

The Time-Warp Tackle

Kids have this magical ability to execute tackles that defy the laws of physics. One second, they're ten feet away, and the next, they've teleported into a slide tackle that would make Messi proud. I swear, if physicists studied kids' football, we'd have solved the mystery of teleportation by now.

World Cup or Snack Time?

You know it's not a real football match until someone starts questioning the snacks. Mid-game negotiations are happening on the sidelines: I'll trade you half my orange slices for your fruit snacks. Forget about scoring goals; the real victory is getting the better end of the snack swap.

Referee, or Ringmaster?

I swear, watching kids play football is like witnessing a referee trying to herd cats. They blow the whistle, and suddenly it's a stampede of seven-year-olds going in all directions. It's less football and more an audition for the next circus act. Ladies and gentlemen, presenting the amazing acrobatic soccer toddlers!

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