4 Jokes For Ink

Standup-Comedy Bits

Updated on: Sep 02 2024

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You know, I recently discovered something that blew my mind. Have you ever noticed that no matter how careful you are, ink seems to have a mind of its own? It's like it's out there plotting against us. You're just sitting there, innocently trying to write a note, and suddenly the ink decides, "You know what? I think I'll explode today."
I bought this fancy pen the other day, thinking it would change my life. But no, it's just a high-maintenance drama queen. It leaks ink everywhere like it's auditioning for a role in a crime scene. I feel like I'm in a suspense thriller every time I reach for that pen. Will it leak today, or will I manage to escape unscathed? It's a gamble, and I never signed up for this ink roulette.
And don't get me started on those pens with disappearing ink. Who came up with that idea? I mean, sure, it's cool for secret messages, but I've lost track of important notes because they decided to pull a Houdini on me. I'll come back to my desk, and the ink is like, "Surprise! I've vanished, just like your hopes and dreams."
Ink, you sly devil, always keeping us on our toes. Maybe it's secretly controlling the world, and we're just here, clueless, thinking we're in charge. Ink, the puppet master of our lives.
Let's talk about ink stains. They're the unsung villains of the office. You can be dressed to the nines, feeling like a professional, and then BAM! Ink stain right on your shirt. It's like ink has a personal vendetta against our wardrobes.
I tried everything to get rid of an ink stain once. I Googled it, tried home remedies, and even considered sacrificing a goat under the light of a full moon—all to no avail. Ink stains are like the ghosts of bad decisions, haunting us forever.
And then there's the social dilemma of borrowing a pen that you know doesn't work. You're in a meeting, someone asks for a pen, and you hand them the one with a 50/50 chance of cooperating. It's like playing Russian roulette with stationery. You sit there, nervously watching them click the pen, hoping it won't embarrass you in front of everyone.
I've come to the conclusion that pens are the real social influencers. They make or break your reputation in the workplace. Forget about your skills and accomplishments; if you have a reliable pen, you're the office hero.
I've been thinking about starting a support group for people who've fallen victim to the great pen robbery. You know what I'm talking about—the office supply thief who shamelessly swipes your favorite pen when you're not looking.
It's a real issue, people. We spend hours carefully selecting the perfect pen, and then some pen bandit waltzes in and snatches it away. I picture them with a secret pen collection, displaying all the pens they've stolen over the years, like trophies of their conquests.
And don't even get me started on pen chains. You know, those chains that keep pens attached to desks, like we're in pen prison. I get it; they're trying to prevent theft, but it feels like I'm signing my soul away every time I use a pen on a chain. "Here's your pen, and here's your ball and chain—may your signatures be forever bound."
Maybe we should invest in pen trackers, like the ones they have for keys. Imagine getting an alert on your phone: "Your pen has left the designated area." I'd pay good money for that kind of peace of mind.
In conclusion, pens are more than just writing instruments; they're the unsung heroes and villains of our daily lives. So, let's raise our pens high and salute these little troublemakers for keeping our lives interesting, one ink stain at a time. Cheers to the pens!
Have you ever noticed that pens have a way of disappearing, almost like they're staging a protest against being overworked? I swear, there's a secret pen graveyard somewhere, filled with all the pens that have mysteriously vanished from our lives.
You start a new pack of pens, feeling like a pen millionaire. But fast forward a week, and you're on a desperate scavenger hunt for a single working pen. It's like they have a lifespan of exactly seven days, and on the eighth day, they ascend to pen heaven.
I bet if you could talk to those pens, they'd be like, "We've had enough of your to-do lists and meeting notes. We're outta here!" It's like they're on strike, demanding better working conditions. Maybe we need a pen union to negotiate their rights.
And then there's the phenomenon of the borrowed pen never returning. You lend someone a pen, and it's gone forever. It's like pen lending is a one-way ticket to pen abandonment. I'm considering starting a pen detective agency to track down all those lost pens. I can see the tagline now: "Pens: Lost, Not Forgotten.

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