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I bet horses have the most nonchalant reaction to birthday presents. You give them a shiny new saddle, and they're like, "Oh cool, I guess. But can I eat it?" They're the ultimate minimalists.
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You ever get invited to a horse's birthday party? It's like, do I bring a gift or just a bale of hay? And what's the appropriate card for a horse? "Neigh Birthday Wishes"?
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I imagine at a horse birthday party, when they play musical chairs, it's just a bunch of horses casually circling a pile of hay. And when the music stops, you better believe it's a stampede to that buffet.
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If you're ever feeling down, just attend a horse's birthday party. It's a reminder that no matter how tough life gets, there's a horse out there somewhere having a grand old time with a party hat on its head. And honestly, that's the kind of positivity we all need.
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I wonder if horses exchange gifts at their birthdays. "I got you a bag of oats!" "Oh, you shouldn't have. Literally, you shouldn't have. I'm on a strict diet.
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I bet the horse parents are all like, "Our little colt is growing up so fast!" Meanwhile, we're all just wondering if the horse even knows it's its birthday. Probably just thinking about running through fields and enjoying life.
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I heard they have a tradition where they blow out the candles on the cake. It's a challenge, though, because the horses keep neighing and blowing them out by accident. They should just go with carrot candles, problem solved.
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Do you think horses make birthday wishes before they blow out the candles? "I wish for unlimited carrots and a lifetime supply of wide-open fields." Well, who doesn't, right?
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Ever notice how at a horse birthday party, the parents are more excited than the horse? They're there with party hats, streamers, and a camera, while the horse is just munching on hay, completely indifferent.
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