18 Jokes About Giving To Charity

Puns

Updated on: Sep 27 2024

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Why did the scarecrow donate to charity? Because he had a lot of straw to spare!
Why did the charitable mathematician always give away pi? Because it's an irrational thing to do!
Why did the charitable computer go to therapy? It had too many emotional bytes!
I donated to a zoo once. They sent me a thank-you card with a picture of the giraffe. It was a tall order!
Why did the charitable tomato turn to the cucumber for advice? It wanted to 'ketchup' on being cool!
Why did the philanthropist break up with the ocean? It just couldn't stop waving.
I donated all my old batteries to charity. They called it a 'shocking' contribution!
Why did the tomato turn red at the charity event? It saw the salad dressing!

Charity: Because Sharing Your Wi-Fi Password Doesn't Count!

They say charity begins at home, so I started by sharing my Wi-Fi password with my neighbors. I thought I was being generous until they asked for the Netflix login. Suddenly, I felt like I was running a streaming charity for the entire block.

I Tried Charity, but My GPS Redirected Me to the Donut Shop!

I decided to be charitable and clicked on the donation link, but my GPS had other plans. It rerouted me to the nearest donut shop instead. I guess my phone knows my priorities better than I do.

I Tried to Give to Charity, but My Wallet Staged a Protest!

I decided to be generous and give to charity. My wallet, however, had a different opinion. It staged a protest, complete with tiny picket signs that said, Save the Cash! I guess my money prefers a life of leisure over helping others.

I Considered Charity, but My Couch Convinced Me Otherwise!

Charity is like exercise - I consider it, but my couch has a compelling argument against it. It said, Why go out and save the world when you can save your spot on the couch? Well played, couch. Well played.

I Thought About Giving, but My Coffee Addiction Said Otherwise!

I thought about being charitable, but then I realized how much I spend on coffee. My barista has become my personal charity case. I've decided that supporting local caffeine dealers is my way of giving back to the community.

I Tried to Donate, but My Closet Was Too Attached!

I attempted to clean out my closet and donate some clothes. Turns out, my closet is a hoarder and started clinging to its favorite shirts like a toddler throwing a tantrum. I'm pretty sure my closet has separation anxiety.

Charity Begins at Home, and Apparently, My Home is a Buffet!

I wanted to be charitable, but every time I try, my kitchen seduces me into preparing a feast. I guess charity begins at home, and in my home, it begins with a smorgasbord of snacks and comfort food.

I Wanted to Be Charitable, but My Dog Disagreed!

I thought about giving to charity, but my dog gave me this judgmental look, like, You know you could be spending that on more treats for me, right? I guess he's not a fan of altruism unless it involves extra belly rubs.

I Considered Charity, but My Inbox Was Already Begging for Attention!

I thought about being charitable, but then I checked my email. My inbox was like, Hello, remember me? I'm your neglected charity case. Well, I guess my unread messages are the true recipients of my generosity.

Charity Begins at Home, but My Home's Full of Netflix and Pizza Boxes!

You know you're an adult when you start considering giving to charity. I tried it once, but my couch was too comfortable, and the TV remote felt neglected. I thought about donating to the Lazy People's Fund, but it turns out that's just called unemployment.

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