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Let's talk about auto-correct for a moment. I don't know about you, but my phone seems to have a mind of its own. The other day, I was texting my friend about dinner plans, and I meant to type, "Let's meet at the restaurant at 7." But thanks to auto-correct, it became, "Let's meat at the restraints at 7." Now, not only did my friend think I had some bizarre carnivorous dinner plans, but I also apparently have a thing for restraining orders. I can just imagine showing up to the restaurant with a steak tied to my wrist, asking for a table for two with extra handcuffs.
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You know, the mind is a mysterious place. The other day, I was in a meeting at work, and my boss was going on and on about quarterly reports. In the middle of it, my brain decided to play a little game of its own. I'm sitting there nodding and pretending to be all serious, and then, out of nowhere, my mouth decides to chime in with, "Did you know penguins have knees?" I mean, seriously? Of all the things my brain could have contributed to the meeting, it had to be penguin anatomy trivia. Now, every time my boss talks about numbers, all I can think of is a penguin in a business suit trying to figure out its expenses.
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You ever have one of those moments where you say something totally unintended, and it's like your subconscious is playing a prank on you? I had a classic Freudian slip the other day. I was at the grocery store, and the cashier asked me if I wanted paper or plastic. Without missing a beat, I blurted out, "I'll take a therapist, please." Now, I don't know if I was craving some mental analysis along with my groceries or if my brain just decided it was time to reveal my innermost desires to the cashier. Either way, I left the store wondering if they offer therapy sessions in aisle five.
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Drive-thrus, the modern marvel of fast food convenience. I was at the drive-thru the other day, and the person on the other end asked, "Would you like fries with that?" And without missing a beat, I responded, "Nah, I'm on a diet. Just give me a side of self-control, please." It's like my subconscious has a hotline to the drive-thru speaker, and it's using the opportunity to remind me of my failed New Year's resolutions. I can almost picture the person on the other end pressing a button and saying, "We've got another one on the self-control diet. Extra willpower in the bag, coming right up!
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