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Let's address the social media side of "friends." You've got 1,000 friends on Facebook, 500 followers on Twitter, and a partridge in a pear tree. But let's be real, how many of them would actually lend you a tenner in an emergency? We're in an era where friending someone doesn't mean friendship; it means digital acquaintance. You could be tagged in a hundred photos together, but ask for a helping hand, and suddenly they've got a case of selective amnesia!
And let's not forget the joy of seeing friends' #squadgoals pics while you're at home, pantsless, binge-watching Netflix. It's like they're flaunting their happiness while you're trying to remember if you ate breakfast today!
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Anyone here ever been a "friend-lancer"? You know, the freelance friend who hops between social circles, providing friendship services wherever needed. You're not the main character; you're the guest star in everyone else's lives! You're the chameleon friend, adapting to different groups like a social ninja. Monday, you're discussing books with the intellectuals; Tuesday, you're doing shots with the party animals. It's like living a sitcom where you're the recurring guest star in every episode!
But hey, being a friend-lancer isn't all bad. You've got a wide network, diverse experiences, and a knack for fitting into any situation. Just remember, folks, don't get too attached, or you might end up with a subscription to loneliness when the gigs dry up!
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Let's talk about the unwritten rulebook of friendship. You'd think it would be simple, right? But no! It's like navigating a minefield blindfolded. You're expected to know all these unspoken rules, and if you mess up, you get the silent treatment or worse, a passive-aggressive comment! Friendship etiquette feels like a high-stakes game of chess. Do I like their post immediately or wait a couple of hours to seem busy? If they text at 2 AM, do I reply instantly and seem desperate or wait until the next day and risk being labeled a bad friend?
And what about the "I saw you were online but didn't reply to my message" guilt trip? Come on! I'm not on call 24/7 to fulfill your friendship requirements! Can we get a handbook for this? "Friendship for Dummies" or "The Idiot's Guide to Not Upsetting Your Buddies"? That would be a bestseller for sure!
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