10 Jokes For Firearms

Observational Jokes

Updated on: Sep 02 2024

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I went to a gun show recently, and I've never seen so many people excited about something that's essentially just a metal stick that makes loud noises. It's like we're all still kids, but now with more dangerous toys.
You ever notice how gun enthusiasts have this whole language of their own? "This is my baby, a 9mm with custom grips and a tactical rail." Meanwhile, I'm over here struggling to explain why my toaster has seven different settings.
I saw a sign at a gun store that said, "Protection you can trust." I don't know about you, but I've never trusted anything that comes with a manual and a "Batteries Not Included" disclaimer.
I've never understood the fascination with concealed carry. I can't even find my keys half the time – imagine trying to remember where you stashed a loaded firearm under pressure. "Wait, is it in the left sock or the right sock?
You know, they say guns don't kill people, people kill people. But have you ever tried asking someone for a favor with a gun in your hand? Suddenly, they're the friendliest person you've ever met!
You ever notice how action movie heroes never have to reload? I tried that once playing Nerf with my nephew, and let me tell you, my James Bond impression quickly turned into a desperate search for spare foam darts.
I was at the gun range the other day, and it occurred to me that shooting targets is the only time where it's socially acceptable to be a terrible shot. No one's impressed if you're a sharpshooter at a water balloon fight, but at the range, you're a hero!
My friend asked me if I wanted to join a gun club. I declined, explaining that I already have a club where we gather every week to discuss our favorite action movies. It's called the "Couch Potato Firearms Enthusiasts Club.
They say the pen is mightier than the sword, but have you ever tried bringing a pen to a gunfight? Spoiler alert: it doesn't end well for the guy with the Bic.
Guns are like relationships - you should always know how to handle them, and it's a bad idea to bring them out when you've had too much to drink. The similarities are uncanny.

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