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Why don't skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts! Remember, courage helps you feel better!
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Why don't we tell secrets on a farm? Because the potatoes have eyes and the corn has ears! Hope that brings a smile to your face!
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Why did the math book look sad? Because it had too many problems! Remember, solving them makes you feel better!
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Why don't oysters donate to charity? Because they are shellfish. Remember, being generous can make you feel better!
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Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing! Hope that makes you feel better!
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Why did the bicycle go to the doctor? It was two-tired and needed to feel better.
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Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts! Remember, courage helps you feel better!
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Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field! Just like you – outstanding and getting better!
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Why did the music teacher go to jail? Because she got caught with the lute! Remember, laughter is music to the soul and helps you feel better!
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Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one! Feeling better knowing you've got options!
Vitamin Confusion
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I started taking vitamins to boost my health. The problem is, I can never remember which one is which. I took a handful this morning, and now I'm not sure if I'm immune to diseases or if I can see through walls. Either way, at least I feel better about my superhero potential!
The Doctor's Conspiracy
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You know, the other day, I went to the doctor because I wasn't feeling well. He handed me a prescription and said, Take this, and you'll feel better. I looked at it, and it was just a piece of paper that said, Get more sleep. I think doctors have a secret alliance with mattress companies!
WebMD Adventures
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Ever try self-diagnosing on the internet? I Googled my symptoms, and after five minutes, I was convinced I had a rare disease only found in ancient mummies. I called the doctor, and he said, Stop Googling, and you'll feel better. Maybe WebMD should have a pop-up that says, Did you mean: stop being paranoid?
Doctor's Note Excuses
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I told my boss I needed a sick day, so I went to the doctor for a note. The note just said, This person needs a break; they'll feel better. I showed it to my boss, and now I'm on a permanent vacation. Thanks, doc, for the unintended career advice!
The Gym Prescription
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I told my doctor I've been feeling down, and he said, Exercise is the best medicine. So, I went to the gym, and after five minutes on the treadmill, I was panting like I just ran a marathon. I thought, This is supposed to make me feel better, not make me question my life choices!
Magic Pills
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Doctors and their prescriptions, right? I went to the pharmacy, and the pharmacist handed me a tiny pill and said, This will make you feel better. I asked, Is it magic? He winked and said, Well, it magically disappears your money!
The Therapist's Laughter
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I went to a therapist to talk about my problems. She said, Laughter is the best medicine. So, now I'm on a strict regimen of watching cat videos on the internet. My therapist might be onto something; those cats are hilarious!
Prescription for Happiness
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I asked my doctor if there's a prescription for happiness. He looked at me and said, Yes, it's called chocolate. So, I've been diligently following doctor's orders and prescribing myself a daily dose of chocolate. My dentist might not be happy, but my mood sure is!
Medicine Cabinet Confusion
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I opened my medicine cabinet, and it looks like a pharmacy exploded in there. There are so many bottles with names I can't pronounce. I tried playing pharmacist and mixed a couple of pills. Now, I don't know if I'm curing a cold or summoning a demon. But hey, at least I'm distracted from feeling unwell!
Soup for the Soul
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They say chicken soup is good for the soul. So, I tried making some, but I'm convinced my chicken was a vegetarian in its past life. It tasted more like a vegetable consoling me than a comforting bowl of soup. Maybe it's soul-soothing if you're a carrot.
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