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Envy is the reason behind the invention of sunglasses – so you can discreetly check out someone's outfit without them catching you in the act. It's like fashion espionage for the envious.
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Have you ever noticed how envy hits you at the weirdest times? Like when you're sitting on the couch in your pajamas, eating cereal, and suddenly you see someone on TV living their best life, and you're like, "Well, I could do that if I wanted to... but I'm comfy right here.
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Envy is the only emotion that can make you question your life choices based on someone else's Instagram filter. "Maybe I should've gone to Bali instead of the grocery store last weekend. #LifeRegrets
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Have you ever tried to discreetly check out someone's new car without looking too obvious? It's like envy yoga – the art of pretending you're stretching your neck, not ogling their shiny, envy-inducing ride.
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You ever notice how envy is the only emotion that can make you simultaneously hate and admire someone? It's like, "I can't stand you, but I wish I had your life... and your shoes.
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Envy is like the social media of emotions. You scroll through other people's successes, silently comparing your life to theirs, and end up feeling like you need an emotional detox. Where's the envy detox app when you need it?
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Envy is like a bad GPS for life. It keeps rerouting you through neighborhoods you can't afford and past restaurants where everyone seems to be having a better time than you. "In 500 feet, turn left and pretend you're happy for them.
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Envy is like a social media algorithm in your brain, constantly showing you the highlight reels of other people's lives. It's the reason we all need a mental "unfollow" button.
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Envy is the reason we have so many secret wish lists. You know, the ones we create in our minds when we see someone living our dream life. "I'll take their job, their house, and throw in the ability to eat pizza without gaining weight.
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