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You ever notice how when a cop pulls you over, they always hit you with that classic line, "Do you know why I pulled you over?" Like, what am I, a contestant on a traffic-themed game show? I'm just waiting for them to whip out a giant traffic ticket wheel and give it a spin. And then you're left there, desperately trying to solve the mystery. "Uh, did I win the 'Going 5 Miles Over the Speed Limit' prize? Or maybe it's the 'Forgot to Use a Turn Signal' jackpot?" It's like a really stressful game of Wheel of Fortune, except instead of winning money, you lose it. And nobody claps for you.
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But seriously, why do they even ask that question? It's not like we're going to respond with, "Oh, Officer, I was just testing your dedication to public safety!" No, we all become instant improv artists, scrambling to come up with the most creative excuses. One time, I panicked and blurted out, "I was just trying to outrun my bad hair day!" The cop just stared at me, probably wondering if my hair was on the FBI's most-wanted list. Note to self: Bad hair is not a valid reason for speeding.
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And what's with cops thinking they're mind readers? They'll pull you over and be like, "I knew you were going to make that illegal U-turn." Really? Are you a traffic psychic now? Did you consult your crystal ball before leaving the station? I wish I had that skill. Imagine going through life knowing every time your boss is about to ask you to work late. Or predicting when the pizza delivery guy will finally show up. Forget speeding tickets; I'd use my powers for predicting Wi-Fi outages.
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But here's the thing, the real question they should be asking is, "Do you know how much this ticket is going to hurt your wallet?" Because let's be honest, that's the real mystery. You're sitting there doing mental calculations, trying to figure out if you can still afford to eat for the rest of the month. I think they should replace the traditional "Do you know why I pulled you over?" with something more practical. Maybe, "Do you have Venmo?" or "Can I get your credit score?" At least then, we'd be mentally prepared for the financial hit.
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