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Why did the detective go to the baseball game? He heard someone stole second base!
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Why did the detective bring a pencil to the crime scene? To draw his own conclusions!
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Why did the detective carry a ladder? To reach the high points of the case!
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Why did the detective refuse to play hide-and-seek? He said he was already outstanding at hide-and-seek!
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Why did the detective bring a map to the crime scene? To help find the 'missing pieces'!
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Why did the detective go to the art exhibit? He heard there was a 'masterpiece' of a case there!
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Why did the detective start a garden? He wanted to uncover the root of the problem!
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Why did the detective bring a calculator to the crime scene? To do some 'criminal' math!
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Why did the detective bring a chef to the crime scene? To grill the suspects!
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Detectives have this intense focus, you know? They can stare at a crime scene for hours, analyzing every detail. I can't even stare at a salad without getting distracted by the croutons. 'Why are they so crunchy? What's their motive?'
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Detectives have a sixth sense for danger. I have a sixth sense too—it's called 'knowing when my phone battery is about to die.' Equally thrilling, right?
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Detectives are like human bloodhounds. You drop a cookie crumb, and they're already dusting for fingerprints and checking the surveillance footage. I drop a cookie crumb, and I just call it a snack for the ants.
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Detectives love solving puzzles. I tried a jigsaw puzzle once, and after 10 minutes, I was ready to call 911 for assistance. 'Yes, officer, I need help with a missing piece. It's blue and kind of... puzzle-shaped.'
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Detectives say 'follow the money.' I tried that once with my bank statement. Turns out, the money was following the shopping cart straight to the electronics store. Detective skills: failed.
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Detectives interrogate suspects with that classic good cop, bad cop routine. I tried it once in a job interview. Let's just say, I didn't get the job, and now I'm not allowed back at the coffee shop.
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Detectives, the only people who can find your lost keys faster than you can say, 'Honey, have you seen my...'
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Detectives have this cool, mysterious aura. I tried to emulate it once. Walked into a room, slammed the door, and announced, 'The case of the missing remote ends now!' My cat just looked at me like, 'Can you find your sanity first?'
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I tried to play detective once. I put on a magnifying glass necklace and stared at my neighbor's lawn for hours. Turns out, they were just really committed to lawn care, not hiding a crime. Who knew grass could be so suspicious?
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