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Why did the depresso refuse therapy? It thought talking about its problems was a real grind.
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Why did the espresso break up with the depresso? It needed a little space!
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Why did the depresso apply for a job? It heard they were looking for a groundskeeper!
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What do you call a sad coffee? Depresso. What do you call a cheerful coffee? Espresso-happiness!
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Why did the depresso start a band? It wanted to espresso itself through music!
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Why did the depresso start a podcast? It wanted to espresso its thoughts to the world!
Depresso Tech Support
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I called tech support because my laptop was running slow. The guy said, Have you tried turning it off and on? I said, I'm not a computer; I can't reboot my life. But, can you recommend a depresso-free Wi-Fi signal?
The Depresso Espresso
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You ever been so down that even your coffee needed therapy? I ordered a depresso, and the barista asked, Single or double shot of sadness? I said, Just make it a venti emotional breakdown with extra foam.
My Depresso Diet
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I tried this new diet called depresso. You don't lose weight, but you lose the will to care about it. My fitness plan is just me lifting the remote to change the channel, but I mostly end up watching infomercials for exercise equipment I'll never use.
Depresso Social Media
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Social media is like a depresso highlight reel. People posting pictures of their perfect lives, and I'm over here struggling to take a selfie where I don't look like I just woke up from a five-year nap.
Depresso Dating
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I joined a dating app for people who love depresso. Turns out, it's just a bunch of folks sitting in coffee shops, avoiding eye contact, and wondering if the person across from them is their soulmate or just someone else escaping reality.
Depresso Weather Forecast
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I asked Siri for the weather, and she said, The forecast is cloudy with a chance of depresso. Great, even the weather app thinks I need an emotional umbrella.
Depresso Parenting
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Parenting is like a depresso rollercoaster. One minute, you're on top of the world because your kid said something cute. The next, you're in the pit of despair because they won't eat their vegetables. It's an emotional buffet, and I'm the one who keeps choking on the broccoli.
Depresso GPS
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My GPS is in a serious relationship with depresso. Every time I try to take a scenic route, it reroutes me through existential dread. In 500 feet, make a U-turn, and question the meaning of life.
Depresso Fitness Routine
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I tried joining a gym to lift my spirits, but it turns out the only thing I'm lifting is my self-esteem... right into the dumpster. My fitness goal is to fit into my favorite sweatpants without pulling a muscle.
Depresso Birthday Party
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I threw a depresso-themed birthday party. The cake said, Another Year Closer to Irrelevance, and the decorations were just mirrors reflecting back my questionable life choices. The goodie bags contained existential crisis pamphlets. Best party ever... or was it?
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