17 Jokes For Darkest

Puns

Updated on: Jun 23 2024

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Why did the vampire open a bar in the cemetery? Because he wanted to raise some spirits!
Why don't skeletons fight each other? They don't have the guts.
I told my computer I needed a break. Now it won't stop sending me Kit-Kats.
Why don't mummies take vacations? They're afraid they'll relax and unwind.
Why don't ghosts like rain? It dampens their spirits!
Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
Why don't skeletons fight each other? They don't have the guts.

Darkest Moments of Parenting

Parenting is filled with the darkest moments. Like when your kid asks where babies come from, and suddenly you find yourself giving them a detailed explanation involving storks, cabbage patches, and a secret society of diaper fairies. It's the original fake news.

Darkest Secrets and WiFi Passwords

They say everyone has their darkest secrets. Well, I found out my WiFi password is my darkest secret. I mean, I'd rather give someone my social security number than let them know how lazy I am when it comes to creating secure passwords.

Darkest Confessions at the Drive-Thru

You ever find yourself making the darkest confessions at the drive-thru? Yeah, I went to order a burger and ended up telling the intercom my entire life story. They asked if I wanted fries with that, and I said, No, but can I get a side of therapy?

Into the Darkest Depths

You ever notice how life takes you to the darkest places? I mean, I went to the darkest depths of my closet looking for a matching pair of socks, and all I found was a portal to Narnia. Turns out, Narnia is just a realm of lost socks and single gloves.

Darkest Days of Adulting

Adulting is like walking through the darkest forest blindfolded. You think you're going in a straight line, but suddenly you trip over a student loan payment, fall face-first into taxes, and realize you left the stove on. It's the only journey where getting lost is the norm.

Navigating the Darkest Mall

I recently went to this mall that was so huge, it had its own GPS system. It's like, I just wanted a pair of shoes, not an expedition into the darkest corners of capitalism. I think I saw a store that sold hope, but it was closed for renovations.

Darkest Fitness Resolutions

New Year's resolutions always take us to the darkest places, don't they? I signed up for a fitness class, and the only thing I've mastered is the art of looking like I know what I'm doing while secretly counting down the seconds until I can eat a donut guilt-free.

Darkest Roommate Secrets

Living with roommates can be interesting. I recently discovered that my roommate has the darkest secret— they don't know how to change the toilet paper roll. I mean, how can you trust someone who can't handle the responsibility of a simple bathroom transaction?

Darkest Side of Social Media

Social media is like a black hole of the soul. One minute, you're innocently scrolling through cat videos, and the next, you're deep into the darkest conspiracy theories about why your neighbor's dog barks at 3 AM. Spoiler alert: the dog just likes to party.

Darkest Days of Dieting

I've been on this new diet, and let me tell you, the darkest days of my life are when I mistake kale chips for real chips. It's like eating cardboard but with a hint of disappointment. My taste buds are in therapy now.

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