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Joke Types
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Why did the thief take a ladder to the bar? He heard the drinks were on the house!
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Why did the criminal take a bath before committing a crime? Because he wanted to make a clean getaway!
Identity Crisis
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I read about a criminal who tried to rob a bank using a water gun. A water gun! I guess he wanted to commit a liquid crime. But hey, at least he had the decency to provide the police with a refreshing chase. Freeze! Or...spritz, I guess!
Bad GPS Choices
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Criminals need better navigation skills. There was this guy who robbed a store, but instead of making a quick getaway, he got lost in the mall. You know you're in trouble when even the security guards are giving you directions. Excuse me, sir, the exit is that way – with handcuffs.
Undercover Criminals
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I heard about a criminal who tried to disguise himself by wearing a fake mustache. Smooth move, right? Until the mustache started to peel off mid-robbery. I guess he was trying to go undercover, but he ended up just going under-stache. Not the inconspicuous look he was going for.
The Eco-Friendly Thief
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There's a new trend among criminals – they're going green. I heard about a guy who robbed a convenience store but insisted on using a reusable bag. I may be a criminal, but I care about the environment, okay? Let's save the planet, one stolen candy bar at a time!
Crime and Dieting
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I read about a criminal who got caught because he left a trail of potato chips leading straight to his hideout. I guess he was practicing the snack and dash technique. Lesson learned: If you're gonna commit a crime, at least choose a snack that doesn't leave crumbs.
Fashion Forward Felon
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Have you heard about the stylish criminal who got caught because he insisted on wearing his own custom-designed prison jumpsuit? I mean, talk about fashion-forward thinking. His mugshot looked more like a GQ cover shoot. Breaking the law, one runway at a time!
Tech-Savvy Thieves
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Criminals these days are so tech-savvy. I saw a news report about a guy who tried to rob an ATM by hacking into it. Dude, if you're that good with computers, maybe consider a career change to IT support. Breaking the bank with a mouse and keyboard – the nerdiest heist ever!
The Polite Perpetrator
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I heard about a criminal who apologized to the teller while robbing a bank. Can you imagine that? Sorry to inconvenience you, but could you please put the money in the bag? Thank you for your cooperation. Have a nice day! It's like he's robbing the place with Canadian politeness.
Criminal Confusion
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You ever notice how criminals always seem to have the worst timing? Like, they'll plan a heist, and just when they're about to execute it, they realize they left their ski masks at home. Now, they're stuck in the middle of a robbery looking like they're about to hit the slopes. I mean, come on, guys, it's a bank, not a ski resort!
The Social Media Bandit
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Criminals these days are too obsessed with social media. There was a guy who live-streamed his own heist. I mean, who needs an alibi when you're providing the evidence yourself? Breaking the law, getting likes, and sharing my getaway route – all in a day's work!
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