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Ever notice how contractors always have the most optimistic timelines? "Oh, we'll have this done in a couple of days." Translation: "I'll see you in a week, maybe two, and don't even think about asking for updates.
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Contractors and weathermen have a lot in common. Both make promises about when things will be done or when the rain will stop, and both are equally likely to leave you disappointed. At least with weathermen, you can blame Mother Nature.
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Trying to communicate with a contractor is like deciphering ancient hieroglyphics. You send a message, wait for a reply, and when it finally comes, you spend a good 10 minutes trying to decode what they meant. It's a linguistic adventure every time.
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Contractors are like modern-day wizards. They come in, mumble some spells (which I assume are technical terms), and suddenly your leaky faucet is no longer leaking. I'm convinced they have a secret contractor language that only they understand.
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Contractors have this magical ability to find issues you didn't even know existed. You call them to fix a leak, and suddenly they're telling you about the structural integrity of your entire house. It's like, "I just wanted a new pipe, not a life evaluation, buddy.
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You know you're an adult when getting excited about a contractor showing up on time becomes a legitimate source of joy. It's the little victories, like having someone fix your sink without turning it into a week-long saga.
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Hiring a contractor is like ordering a pizza. You call, they give you an estimated delivery time, and then you spend the next few hours anxiously waiting, hoping they don't forget about you. At least with pizza, you get a hot, cheesy reward at the end.
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The waiting game with contractors is a true test of patience. They say they'll be there between 8 AM and 5 PM. So, you spend the entire day chained to your home, wondering if they'll show up before the sun goes down or if you'll have to wait for them like a dog at the vet.
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You ever hire a contractor to fix something in your house? It's like entering into a mysterious pact. They show up, take a look, and then disappear for days. I'm not sure if they're fixing my bathroom or trying to discover the lost city of Atlantis in there.
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