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Joke Types
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Why did the priest go to the confessional with a ladder? He wanted to reach new heights in confessionals!
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Why did the comedian become a priest? He heard there were great 'confession'-al opportunities for stand-up!
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Why did the smartphone apply for a job at the confessional? It wanted to work on its 'app-titude' for forgiveness!
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Why don't priests play hide and seek in the confessional? Because good hiding spots are a blessing and a confession!
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Why do priests make terrible poker players? Because they always fold during confessions!
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Why do ghosts never confess their sins? Because they've got nothing to hide!
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Why did the computer go to confession? It had too many 'bits' of sin in its code!
Gossip Guardian Angel
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I always wondered if the angels in heaven gossip about our confessions. Hey Gabriel, did you hear what Dave did last Sunday? He ate all the communion wafers! And then he asked for seconds!
Confessional Wi-Fi
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I wish confessionals had Wi-Fi. You know, just in case God wants to Google some of my sins. Let me check if 'eating a whole pizza alone' is a mortal or venial sin.
Confessions and Confusion
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Confessionals are tricky. I once confessed to stealing a pen from work, and the priest was like, For penance, say three Hail Marys and return the pen to its rightful owner. Father, it's a pen, not the Holy Grail!
Holy Roller Coaster
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Confessionals are like emotional roller coasters. You're in there confessing your sins, and the priest is like the ride operator: Keep your hands and guilt inside the booth at all times. And no cutting in line for salvation!
Confessions vs. Therapy
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I tried replacing my therapist with a priest. It didn't work. The priest was like, I can't help you with your emotional baggage. I'm here for your spiritual carry-on items only.
Confessional Slang
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I tried using slang in the confessional to sound cool. I told the priest, Father, I totally 'ghosted' my friend last week. He replied, My child, 'ghosting' is not a sin; it's just rude.
Confessional Cheat Sheet
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I made a cheat sheet for my confessions. It's like a spiritual CliffsNotes. Okay, for lying, do two Our Fathers and a push-up. For stealing, three Hail Marys and a 10-minute plank. And for binge-watching Netflix, just pray the whole season of Friends.
Confessions of a Closet Confessor
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You ever been in one of those confessional booths at a church? It's like a tiny room where you spill your deepest secrets to a priest. It's the only place where I can confess my sins without Yelp reviews. Five stars for forgiveness, two stars for ambiance.
Confessional GPS
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Imagine if confessionals had GPS. You're there confessing, and a voice says, In 200 feet, make a right turn toward redemption. If you pass forgiveness, you've gone too far.
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