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Joke Types
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Why don't skeletons fight each other? They don't have the guts to come to the bone of contention!
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Why don't oysters donate to charity? Because they are shellfish and don't want to come out of their shells!
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Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing come out naked!
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Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he knew how to come off as outstanding without losing his hay-dentity!
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Why did the chicken join a band? It had the drumsticks, and it was ready to come out of its coop-performing shell!
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My friend was nervous about his performance, so I told him to come out of his shell. He did—it was 'claw-some' to see a lobster on stage!
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I used to be a baker, but I couldn't make enough dough. I kneaded to come up with some more bread-winning ideas!
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What did one wall say to the other wall? I'll meet you at the corner—let's make sure we come together perfectly!
The Party Protocol
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Every party has that one person who says, Come on, let's dance! And I'm like, Have you seen my dance moves? I'm a human spaghetti noodle. I need a warning label before I hit the dance floor.
The Seating Struggle
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My friend said, Come to the party, there's plenty of seating. I arrived, and it was standing room only. I felt betrayed. Apparently, plenty is subjective.
Come Again?
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You ever notice how come is such a versatile word? Like, sometimes my GPS is like, In 500 feet, come right. And I'm like, GPS, we just met, you need to buy me dinner first!
The Dinner Dilemma
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My grandma always says, Come for dinner! And I'm like, Grandma, I just ate. And she's like, Come anyway, we've got leftovers. It's like she's running a culinary charity.
Come-edy Central
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I told my friend I'm doing stand-up comedy, and he said, Come on, tell me a joke! So, I said, I'm charging admission to my life story, and you just got a free preview. You owe me!
The Double Entendre Trap
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I was in a job interview, and the boss asked, Can you come in on weekends? I said, Sure, but only if my couch comes too, and we can all Netflix together.
The Doorbell Dilemma
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My doorbell rang at 3 am, and I thought, Who could that be? So, I opened the door, and it was my neighbor saying, Sorry, wrong apartment. I was like, Dude, it's 3 am! Where did you intend to come?
Comeback Fail
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I tried to impress my crush by saying, Come here often? She replied, Yeah, this is my apartment. I'm still recovering from that failed comeback.
Comeback Calendar
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I tried a New Year's resolution to be more spontaneous. So, every day, I randomly chose a location and just went there. Turns out, my couch got more action than I did. Who knew spontaneity required more planning?
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