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Have you noticed the wildlife at church camp? Squirrels there have mastered the art of stealing your snacks without sinning. They'll snatch your granola bar and give you a look like, "Forgive me, for I have nibbled.
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At church camp, the concept of a "wild party" is when someone brings a guitar to the bonfire, and suddenly it's a worship concert. I came for s'mores, not a Christian rock concert, but here we are.
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You ever notice how at church camp, they make the bug spray smell like a heavenly combination of citronella and redemption? I spray it on, and suddenly mosquitoes start singing hymns before they bite me.
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Speaking of games, why is it that every game at church camp has a biblical twist? Capture the flag becomes "Retrieve the Ark of the Covenant," and hide and seek is just finding the lost sheep. I'm waiting for "Noah's Ark Kayaking.
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The campfire stories at church camp are something else. It's always a tale of overcoming adversity, like David and Goliath, but with a modern twist – "How I Survived Without Wi-Fi for a Whole Week.
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Church camp is the only place where the phrase "holy water" could mean either something you use during a baptism or just the water left in your water bottle after a sweaty game of capture the flag.
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And finally, the talent show at church camp. Everyone's got their special skills, from juggling Bible verses to doing interpretive dances inspired by the Ten Commandments. I brought my talent – avoiding poison ivy while walking to the outhouse in the dark.
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The food at church camp is like a religious experience itself. I swear, they could turn a loaf of bread and a fish into a five-course meal. And don't get me started on the mystery casserole – I call it "Divine Potluck.
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The morning devotionals at church camp are like group therapy for early risers. We all gather around, share our feelings about mosquitoes, and pray for strength to endure the uphill hikes.
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