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Joke Types
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What did one virus say to another? 'Don't worry, I'm just a byte-sized threat!
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What did the virus say when it got a promotion? 'I've worked so hard, I've earned my spike!
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Did you hear about the germ that got a promotion? It rose to the next level!
Zooming into Chaos
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Zoom calls have become the highlight of my day. It's like the Brady Bunch but with everyone muted, and Alice is replaced by a screaming toddler in the background. Forget corona; it's the mute button we should've been worried about.
Pandemic Pounds
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They say stress-eating is a common response to the pandemic. I'm not saying I've gained weight, but my refrigerator now has a closed for maintenance sign. It's not the corona pounds; it's the I have nothing else to do pounds.
Vaccine Victory Dance
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I finally got vaccinated! I did a little victory dance afterward. It was less of a dance and more of an awkward shuffle, but hey, if my immune system had eyes, it would've been rolling them.
Socially Distanced Dreams
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They say social distancing is the key to avoiding the virus. Well, I've been practicing social distancing for years – it's just that now, it's not a personal choice; it's a public health recommendation. My life is so on-trend.
Hand Sanitizer High
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I've become addicted to hand sanitizer. I've started using it for everything – cooking, cleaning, even as a salad dressing. At this point, if I touch anything without sanitizing, it feels like I'm cheating on my hands.
Mask Misadventures
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Wearing a mask has its challenges. I tried smiling at someone in the grocery store, and they just stared at me like I was auditioning for a horror movie. Note to self: work on my eyes-only expressions.
Epidemic Etiquette
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We've got new etiquette now – instead of shaking hands, we do the corona wave. It's like a regular wave, but with more elbow action and a hint of panic in your eyes. It's the international symbol for I'm friendly, but please stay away.
Quarantine Quandaries
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I've been in quarantine so long; I've started naming my furniture. My couch is Steve, the lamp is Susan. We're like one big dysfunctional family, and the corona virus is the annoying neighbor who just won't leave!
DIY Pandemic Fashion
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I tried making my own face mask. Let's just say, it started as a mask and ended up looking like a failed origami experiment. Now people are avoiding me for two reasons – the virus and my fashion choices.
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