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You know, I recently discovered something interesting about myself—I think my brain might be a bit like a whale. Yeah, I've got this mental blubber that just seems to hold on to the most ridiculous things. For instance, I'll remember the lyrics to a commercial jingle from the '90s, but I can't for the life of me recall where I put my keys five minutes ago. It's like my memory's got its own blubber, and it's holding onto the useless stuff while letting the important things slip away.
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I've come to realize that blubber operates on its own peculiar logic. It's like when you're shopping for clothes, and you find something that's a tad snug. Now, regular logic would say, "Maybe go up a size." But no, blubber logic kicks in and says, "Nah, it's a challenge. We'll fit into this by next month!" Spoiler alert: next month arrives, and that clothing item is still sitting there, giving you judgmental looks. Blubber, my friends, is a master of delusional optimism. There you go, a few comedic riffs on the theme of blubber!
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So, I was at the gym the other day, trying to channel my inner fitness guru, and I spotted this exercise ball. Now, I thought, "Hey, that looks fun! Let's give it a try." Let me tell you, folks, I've never experienced a more literal interpretation of blubber trouble. I plopped down on that ball, and instead of bouncing, I think it absorbed me! I was stuck in there like a slice of ham in a sandwich. Lesson learned: exercise balls and blubber don't always make the best workout partners.
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You ever notice how blubber seems to have its own gravitational pull? I mean, you could be on a diet, trying to eat a salad, and that slice of pizza on the other side of the room starts orbiting you like it's drawn in by your blubber's magnetic field. It's like blubber has its own wisdom—it's telling you, "Come to the dark side, we have cookies!" And let me tell you, resisting that gravitational pull is harder than trying to win an argument with a toddler.
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