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You know how big sisters think they know everything? Well, mine decided to become my life coach. She's handing out advice like it's candy on Halloween. She said, "You need to seize the day, embrace the challenges, and always strive for greatness."
I'm sitting there thinking, "Lady, I just wanted advice on what movie to watch tonight, not a motivational speech that sounds like it came from a self-help book written by an over-caffeinated cheerleader."
But hey, in the end, I love my big sister. She may drive me crazy, but life would be pretty boring without her constant commentary and fashion interventions.
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You ever have a big sister? Man, it's like having a personal bodyguard who never signed up for the job. My big sister thinks she's the boss of everything. The other day, I tried to pick out my own outfit, and she swooped in like a fashion vigilante. She looked at me and said, "Oh no, sweetie, we can't let you go out like that."
I was like, "Excuse me? Are you my sister or my fashion parole officer?"
I swear, having a big sister is like having a live-in critique. She's the only person who can turn a simple walk to the grocery store into a full-blown fashion crisis. It's like a runway show every time I step out of my room.
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Big sisters love to drop their so-called wisdom on you, like they've cracked the code to life. Mine is always like, "Oh, I've been there, done that, got the t-shirt." And I'm sitting there thinking, "Yeah, well, I've been there, done that, and got the upgraded app version." They love giving advice, especially the unsolicited kind. The other day, she comes up to me and goes, "You know, in my experience, you should never eat yellow snow."
I'm like, "Thanks, Captain Obvious. I'll add that to my list of life lessons right next to 'don't stick a fork in the toaster.'
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Big sisters have this superpower—it's called spying. They can detect your secrets from a mile away. I tried to have a private conversation on the phone once, and within seconds, she's at the door, ear pressed against it like she's auditioning for a spy movie. I'm like, "Can I help you?"
She's all casual, "Oh, nothing. Just checking if the walls have ears."
I'm convinced she has a hidden surveillance network installed in the house. NSA, CIA, move aside—my big sister's got it covered.
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