4 Big Nose Jokes

Standup-Comedy Bits

Updated on: Jul 19 2025

cancel
Rating
Sort By:
My friend with the big nose is having a tough time dating. He told me he tried online dating, but his profile picture kept getting flagged as "fake" because people couldn't believe a nose that massive could be real. It's like, congratulations, buddy, you've won the prize for the most unbelievable body part!
And then there's the issue of kissing. He says it's like playing a game of "dodge the nose." It's not romantic; it's a full-contact sport. I suggested he should try a new dating app exclusively for big-nosed individuals – maybe call it "SniffMatch" or "Nostrilove." Who knows, it might be a hit!
I was hanging out with my big-nosed friend the other day, and he claimed he could smell trouble from a mile away. I thought he was joking until he accurately predicted my impending breakup before I even knew it was happening! It's like having a human bloodhound in your squad.
But here's the thing – his sense of smell is so heightened; he can't enjoy normal things anymore. He walked into a bakery the other day, and instead of savoring the aroma of fresh bread, he started critiquing the yeast-to-flour ratio. I mean, who needs a gourmet nose?
You ever notice how people with big noses always get the short end of the stick? I mean, literally, their noses are so big, they probably can't even find the stick! My friend with a big nose tried to play hide and seek once, and let me tell you, the poor guy couldn't hide his face, let alone the rest of his body.
And what's the deal with those "one-size-fits-all" face masks? They're obviously not considering my big-nosed buddies. It's more like "one-size-fits-most-but-good-luck-breathing-if-you-have-a-big-nose." My friend looks like he's wearing a facial parachute every time he puts on a mask. It's not COVID he's worried about; it's suffocation!
So, my neighbor has this gigantic nose that's practically a landmark in the neighborhood. I call it the "Nose of the Cul-de-sac." The guy can practically smell what everyone's cooking for dinner. It's like having a live Yelp review system but just for the aroma.
I tried to have a barbecue last weekend, and my neighbor showed up with a plate before I even finished lighting the grill. He claimed he followed the scent, but I think he has a hotline to the food gods. Forget Neighborhood Watch; we've got a Nosehood Watch going on!

Post a Comment


How was your experience?
0 0 reviews
5 Stars
(0)
4 Stars
(0)
3 Stars
(0)
2 Stars
(0)
1 Stars
(0)

Topic of the day

Go-somewhere
Jul 19 2025

0
Total Topics
0
Added Today