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Joke Types
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Why was the nervous calendar afraid of its future? It didn't like the dates!
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Why was the pencil nervous? It wasn't sure if it would be able to draw attention!
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Why did the cell phone feel nervous? It had low bars and couldn't make connections!
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Why did the nervous mathematician become a florist? They wanted to work with something less square-rooted!
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Why was the tree nervous during autumn? It was afraid it would leaf too soon!
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Why did the nervous comedian sit on their hands during the show? They wanted to get a grip on the situation!
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Why was the skeleton so nervous during the exam? He didn't have the guts to face the questions!
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What did the nervous tissue say to the brain? 'I've got a lot of nerve!'
Convo Catastrophes
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Have you ever been in a conversation so awkward, you start planning your escape route? I once pretended I had an urgent call just to get away. But here's the twist - my phone was on silent, so I basically stood there, talking to my hand. I'm not saying I'm socially awkward, but my comfort zone has its own comfort zone.
Fearful Foodie
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I'm so nervous; I can't order food without rehearsing my order in the bathroom mirror first. The waiter asked, What can I get you? and I replied, The usual bathroom mirror performance, please. I just want a meal, not a live theatrical experience. Can I get a side of confidence, please?
Stressful Selfies
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I tried taking a selfie the other day, and I was so nervous, my phone's facial recognition rejected me. It was like, I'm sorry, I can't capture this level of anxiety. My selfies look like I'm auditioning for a horror movie, and my smile is just a desperate cry for help.
Nervous GPS
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I'm so nervous; even my GPS doesn't know where it's going. It's like, In 500 feet, make a right turn... unless you feel uncomfortable, then just keep going straight. I don't want to pressure you. I wish my GPS had a mode where it could reassure me, like, You're doing great! You've only missed three turns; life is an adventure!
Emotionally Unavailable Elevators
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You ever step into an elevator, and it's just you and one other person, and you both avoid eye contact like you're on an emotional standoff? I'm so nervous; I start pressing random floor buttons just to diffuse the tension. It's like, Let's take this elevator to the seventh floor of awkwardness together!
Social Anxiety Olympics
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I'm thinking about entering the Social Anxiety Olympics. The first event is making eye contact without turning it into a staring contest. I've been practicing, but so far, I've only won a silver in the Awkward Small Talk Marathon. My strategy is to bring up the weather so often that people mistake me for a human weather app.
Phobia Friends
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I have a friend who's afraid of heights, and another who's afraid of spiders. I'm afraid of social situations. So, we decided to start a support group. We meet on the ground, in a spider-free zone, and talk about how terrifying life is. It's the only club where the entry fee is just a deep breath and a pep talk.
Stressful Superhero
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If I were a superhero, my power would be the ability to make any situation awkward. Villains would surrender just to escape the uncomfortable silence. I'd be like, Stop right there, evildoer! Do you ever wonder why we're here? No? Well, I do, and it's making me anxious.
Nervous Wreckage
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You know, I'm so nervous, I make a leaf during autumn look like it's got its life together. I walked into a room the other day, and the tension was so thick, even the dust bunnies were holding their breath. I'm not saying I'm bad with confrontation, but when someone asked me for my opinion, I replied with an interpretive dance.
Nervous Salsa
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I tried salsa dancing the other day, and I was so nervous; it looked more like I was battling an invisible swarm of bees. I stepped on more toes than a clumsy giant at a tiny shoe store. My dance instructor said, You're not doing the cha-cha; you're doing the cha-cha-cha-cha-cha...cha... cha... oops.
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