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Why did Barry Cryer become a regular at the bar? He found the spirits quite uplifting!
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Why did Barry Cryer bring a thesaurus to the bar? To find synonyms for 'hilarious'!
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Why did Barry Cryer bring a pen and paper to the bar? To jot down all the punchlines!
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Why did Barry Cryer never spill his drink at the bar? He had a pun-derful grip!
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Why did Barry Cryer bring a ladder to the bar? Because he heard the drinks were on the house!
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Why did Barry Cryer refuse to play darts at the bar? He kept hitting the punchline!
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Why did Barry Cryer take a thesaurus to the bar? To find the perfect pun-chline!
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Why did Barry Cryer bring a microphone to the bar? To make sure his punchlines were loud and clear!
Barry Cryer's Password Puzzles
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Barry Cryer's passwords are like riddles from the Sphinx. I asked him for his Wi-Fi password, and he goes, It's the name of my first pet combined with the street I grew up on, divided by the number of times I've forgotten it. I was like, Barry, I'll just use data, thanks.
Barry Cryer's DIY Disaster
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Barry Cryer decided to do some DIY at home. He proudly showed me his masterpiece, saying, I put up a shelf all by myself! I looked at it, and it was leaning so much, I said, Barry, that shelf has a more dramatic tilt than the Leaning Tower of Pisa!
Barry Cryer's Lost Keys
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Barry Cryer lost his keys again. I asked him where he last saw them, and he said, In the abyss of forgetfulness. I said, Barry, we're in your living room, not Middle-earth. Check the couch cushions!
Barry Cryer's Social Media Mystery
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Barry Cryer joined social media, but he's so confused. He posted a status saying, Just had a fantastic dinner with my imaginary friend! I commented, Barry, on the internet, we call that 'eating alone,' mate!
Barry Cryer's GPS Adventure
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I tried carpooling with Barry Cryer once, and let me tell you, his GPS has a PhD in confusion. It said, In 500 feet, turn left into the Bermuda Triangle. I was like, Barry, are we carpooling or time traveling? Because I wasn't ready for a road trip to Atlantis!
Barry Cryer's Fitness Regimen
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Barry Cryer told me he's on a new fitness regimen. I asked him what it involves, and he said, Every day, I do 20 minutes of confusion exercises. I said, Barry, that's just called trying to assemble IKEA furniture!
Barry Cryer's Poker Night
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I played poker with Barry Cryer last week. He's got this tell when he's bluffing – he starts reciting Shakespeare. I asked him about it, and he said, To fold or not to fold, that is the question! I told him, Barry, you're not Hamlet; you're just holding a pair of twos!
Barry Cryer's Supermarket Safari
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Barry Cryer goes to the supermarket like it's a safari. He spends hours in the cereal aisle, staring at boxes like they hold the secrets of the universe. I asked him why, and he said, I'm looking for the elusive 'Buy One, Get One Free' cereal. It's a rare species, mate!
Barry Cryer's Weather Wisdom
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Barry Cryer thinks he's a weatherman now. He looked at the sky and said, I sense a storm coming. The birds are flying south. I said, Barry, those are pigeons. They're just confused because you told them it's February 30th!
Barry Cryer's Calendar Confusion
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You know, Barry Cryer is so forgetful; he's got a calendar that's more confused than a cat at a dog show. Last month, he called me up and said, Hey, let's grab a drink on February 30th. I was like, Barry, even my calendar from Hogwarts doesn't have that date!
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