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You guys ever heard about Baron Trump? No, not the former president's son, the one from way back in the late 1800s. Yeah, apparently, Baron Trump was a character in this old novel, and people are saying it's like predicting the future or something. I mean, if Baron Trump is the key to predicting the future, I've got some serious questions about what's coming next. I imagine Baron Trump walking around with his top hat and cane, trying to make sense of today's world. Can you imagine him scrolling through Twitter and seeing some of the stuff we post nowadays? I bet he's thinking, "I didn't sign up for this when I was written into a book!"
Seems like a lot of responsibility for a kid from the 19th century. I can barely handle my Wi-Fi going out for a few minutes. Baron Trump would probably have a meltdown if he saw a TikTok dance or a meme. I can just picture him asking, "What is this 'dabbing' everyone keeps talking about? Is it a new way to sneeze?"
Seems like the writers back then had a better grasp on comedy. I mean, Baron Trump? That's hilarious. If they were predicting the future, I want to know who the 21st-century character is going to be. Maybe there's a sequel somewhere predicting a character named Elon Musk Jr. or something. I'd read that.
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So, I'm thinking about Baron Trump again, right? What if he suddenly time-traveled and ended up in our world? I mean, the poor kid would be so lost. He'd see smartphones and think they're some kind of magical artifact. Imagine handing him an iPhone and saying, "This is your new best friend, Baron." He'd probably try to have a conversation with Siri and wonder why she's not responding in a 19th-century British accent. And don't get me started on Google. Baron Trump searching the internet would be like a time-traveling kid in a candy store. "How many results for 'time travel to the past'?" The poor guy would be bombarded with conspiracy theories and memes about his fictional adventures.
I can see him trying to order an Uber, too. "Ah, my trusty steed shall arrive forthwith!" And when he sees the car pull up, he'd be like, "Why is the horseless carriage so silent? Is it enchanted?" Yeah, Baron, it's enchanted with horsepower, not actual horses.
It's like a fish out of water, but in this case, it's more like a 19th-century kid out of time. Someone needs to make a sitcom about this, I swear.
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So, I'm picturing Baron Trump on Instagram, trying to navigate the world of selfies and influencers. Can you imagine him attempting to take a perfect selfie with that 19th-century stoic expression? "Just got my portrait done. #NoFilter #NoSmiles." And then there's the whole concept of influencers. He'd be like, "Why do people follow these individuals who do nothing but take pictures of their meals? Is this a culinary masterpiece or just some form of vanity?"
And hashtags? I can see him creating his own like #BaronTimeTravels or #TopHatAdventures. It would either go viral or confuse the heck out of everyone.
But let's not forget Baron Trump on Twitter. I bet he'd be the king of subtweets. "Encountered a most peculiar individual today. Their fashion sense was as outdated as my time machine. #FashionFauxPas"
I'd follow Baron Trump just for the comedic value. The guy would be a walking, talking time capsule.
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So, the writers of the late 1800s had this character, Baron Trump, and people are saying it's like predicting the future. Now, I don't know if they had a crystal ball or just a really good imagination, but if they were predicting our times, what's next? I'm thinking, are there other characters from old novels predicting our future? Maybe there's a character named Lady Gaga from some 19th-century novel who was into outrageous fashion. Or perhaps a character named Mark Zuckerberg, who was obsessed with connecting people, but in a much more dramatic and literary way.
And what about our predictions for the future? Are we going to have characters in the 22nd century named Quantum Quesadilla or Solar Flare Samantha? I hope so. I want my predictions to be as entertaining as Baron Trump. Maybe my great-great-grandkids will be sitting around saying, "Can you believe they predicted virtual reality barbershops? What a time to be alive!"
So here's to the future and the characters yet to come. May they be just as bizarre and unpredictable as Baron Trump, or at least good material for stand-up comedy.
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